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SINGAPORE: When I was preparing for the birth of my first child in 2016, hiring a confinement nanny was one of the first items on my checklist. Like many Singaporeans, opting for a live-in confinement nanny was almost a no-brainer given how common the practice is.
I also had plans to organise the baby’s room and stocked up on DVDs to watch during my maternity leave. Then, I felt well-prepared to handle motherhood.
The reality, however, bore little resemblance to my expectations of a peaceful, well-rested confinement. My firstborn was a colic baby who cried endlessly and vomited every day, which I later learnt was due to allergies.
Navigating that as a new mother was overwhelming. Thankfully, my confinement nanny turned out to be the calm amid the storm. I cannot imagine going through all of that without her guidance.
A 2013 study found that over 85 per cent of mothers in Singapore engaged in some form of confinement practice.
This usually involves having an experienced female relative or a paid nanny living in the home of new parents in the month after childbirth. These days, some mothers choose to stay in confinement centres where they are given round-the-clock care, either locally or across the Causeway.
It’s well known that pregnancy increases a woman’s nutrient needs, but the early postpartum period can be even more demanding. “After birth, the body works hard to replenish nutrients transferred to the baby, repair tissues, recover from the stress of delivery and support milk production,” Annabelle Johnson, a certified dietician in Singapore, told me.
If not for extra support from others during confinement, how would a new mother take care of her own body, while caring for a screaming newborn?
Recuperating from birth at a confinement centre sounds amazing if one can afford it.
In Singapore, a typical 28-day package could cost upwards of S$15,888 (US$12,490). Across the Causeway, similar packages range from RM18,888 (US$4,791) to RM40,000, based on media reports.
By comparison, a live-in confinement nanny in Singapore costs at least S$3,000 a month, but families will need to cater for the nanny's residential needs. This is probably the practical reason why some opt for confinement centres – a lack of physical space or appropriate environment to house a confinement nanny for a month. With more affordable options available across the Causeway, it is not hard to see why some families choose to stretch their dollar.
Being in the comfort and familiarity of my own home after a stressful birth was important to me, and this turned out to also be the best arrangement for my high-needs babies. So, while I scroll through the Instagram photos of well-rested mothers in confinement centres with envy, I was glad that I employed the help of a live-in nanny whose goal was to set me up for success after she left.
I had the same jovial lady from Malaysia come to my house after each of my births. She was skillful with my newborns, confident and calm even though both babies screamed themselves purple. She also seemed to be able to survive on just three hours of sleep.
My confinement nanny had her own amusing methods of treating common infant ailments, like sticking a piece of wet tissue on the baby’s forehead to stop hiccups and dietary restrictions for me in case I gave my baby “wind” through my breast milk.
Her cooking was the icing on the cake. I had never eaten so much in my life - three wonderful meals a day with plenty of snacks in between. It helped that I loved herbal soups, so I looked forward to the daily herbal concoctions that she lovingly prepared.
More importantly, my confinement nanny helped me to figure out how I could calm my crying babies and together, we worked out care routines that stuck with my family for years.
We found out that my babies could be soothed by rocking, so we picked out exercise balls and yaolans (spring-operated cradles) together. She also taught me how to arrange my furniture and baby care products in a logical manner to aid the care sequence.
It would have been a rude shock if I had had to spend the first months of my babies’ lives in a luxurious confinement centre, only to come home and figure everything out on my own. This “apprenticeship of motherhood” is crucial as the real test begins when the confinement nanny leaves.
Confinement may sometimes be framed as a tradition or luxury, but whether it takes place at home or at a hotel-like centre, it is all about giving mothers the time and much-needed care to recover and adapt. It should be what works best for you.
For me, the warm memories of a live-in confinement nanny went beyond the nourishing herbal soups. It was the crash course into motherhood and the gentle reminder that mothers don’t have to do it all alone, which I found most useful long after the confinement period ends.
Yong Qiao Qing raises two daughters with allergies and is the founder of Little Warriors, an online business that specialises in clothes for children with sensitive skin.
Source: CNA/sk
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FAST
SINGAPORE: When I was preparing for the birth of my first child in 2016, hiring a confinement nanny was one of the first items on my checklist. Like many Singaporeans, opting for a live-in confinement nanny was almost a no-brainer given how common the practice is.
I also had plans to organise the baby’s room and stocked up on DVDs to watch during my maternity leave. Then, I felt well-prepared to handle motherhood.
The reality, however, bore little resemblance to my expectations of a peaceful, well-rested confinement. My firstborn was a colic baby who cried endlessly and vomited every day, which I later learnt was due to allergies.
Navigating that as a new mother was overwhelming. Thankfully, my confinement nanny turned out to be the calm amid the storm. I cannot imagine going through all of that without her guidance.
A TRADITIONAL PRACTICE BUT NOT A DYING ONE
A 2013 study found that over 85 per cent of mothers in Singapore engaged in some form of confinement practice.
This usually involves having an experienced female relative or a paid nanny living in the home of new parents in the month after childbirth. These days, some mothers choose to stay in confinement centres where they are given round-the-clock care, either locally or across the Causeway.
It’s well known that pregnancy increases a woman’s nutrient needs, but the early postpartum period can be even more demanding. “After birth, the body works hard to replenish nutrients transferred to the baby, repair tissues, recover from the stress of delivery and support milk production,” Annabelle Johnson, a certified dietician in Singapore, told me.
If not for extra support from others during confinement, how would a new mother take care of her own body, while caring for a screaming newborn?
Related:
Recuperating from birth at a confinement centre sounds amazing if one can afford it.
In Singapore, a typical 28-day package could cost upwards of S$15,888 (US$12,490). Across the Causeway, similar packages range from RM18,888 (US$4,791) to RM40,000, based on media reports.
By comparison, a live-in confinement nanny in Singapore costs at least S$3,000 a month, but families will need to cater for the nanny's residential needs. This is probably the practical reason why some opt for confinement centres – a lack of physical space or appropriate environment to house a confinement nanny for a month. With more affordable options available across the Causeway, it is not hard to see why some families choose to stretch their dollar.
WHY I OPTED FOR THE SAME NANNY TWICE
Being in the comfort and familiarity of my own home after a stressful birth was important to me, and this turned out to also be the best arrangement for my high-needs babies. So, while I scroll through the Instagram photos of well-rested mothers in confinement centres with envy, I was glad that I employed the help of a live-in nanny whose goal was to set me up for success after she left.
The Wellness Hour - Do I need a confinement nanny?
I had the same jovial lady from Malaysia come to my house after each of my births. She was skillful with my newborns, confident and calm even though both babies screamed themselves purple. She also seemed to be able to survive on just three hours of sleep.
My confinement nanny had her own amusing methods of treating common infant ailments, like sticking a piece of wet tissue on the baby’s forehead to stop hiccups and dietary restrictions for me in case I gave my baby “wind” through my breast milk.
Her cooking was the icing on the cake. I had never eaten so much in my life - three wonderful meals a day with plenty of snacks in between. It helped that I loved herbal soups, so I looked forward to the daily herbal concoctions that she lovingly prepared.
ON-THE-JOB TRAINING FOR NEW MOTHERS
More importantly, my confinement nanny helped me to figure out how I could calm my crying babies and together, we worked out care routines that stuck with my family for years.
We found out that my babies could be soothed by rocking, so we picked out exercise balls and yaolans (spring-operated cradles) together. She also taught me how to arrange my furniture and baby care products in a logical manner to aid the care sequence.
Related:
It would have been a rude shock if I had had to spend the first months of my babies’ lives in a luxurious confinement centre, only to come home and figure everything out on my own. This “apprenticeship of motherhood” is crucial as the real test begins when the confinement nanny leaves.
Confinement may sometimes be framed as a tradition or luxury, but whether it takes place at home or at a hotel-like centre, it is all about giving mothers the time and much-needed care to recover and adapt. It should be what works best for you.
For me, the warm memories of a live-in confinement nanny went beyond the nourishing herbal soups. It was the crash course into motherhood and the gentle reminder that mothers don’t have to do it all alone, which I found most useful long after the confinement period ends.
Yong Qiao Qing raises two daughters with allergies and is the founder of Little Warriors, an online business that specialises in clothes for children with sensitive skin.
Source: CNA/sk
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