SINGAPORE: At a dialogue session on Wednesday (Aug 27) night, Education Minister Desmond Lee laid out broad plans aimed at improving how school bullying is handled.
Disciplinary frameworks will be reviewed, bullying reporting channels will be made more accessible to students, and peer support in schools strengthened.
The goal, it seems, is in part to rebuild trust with parents.
That trust has taken a hit in recent months. The case at Sengkang Green Primary School – in which three Primary 3 boys were suspended after threatening to kill their classmate and her family - shocked many parents. An audio clip containing a death threat was recorded and sent directly to the girl’s mother after she had reported bullying. For a child to hear her peers speak in such a chilling manner must be terrifying. For parents, it is unthinkable.
Just months earlier, a video emerged showing a Secondary 1 boy from Montfort Secondary School being kicked and tripped repeatedly as he tried to walk away. The school disciplined the boys involved and offered counselling.
Both episodes raised hard questions about safety in schools, and whether victims feel protected soon enough.
MOE’s ongoing review of its processes to address bullying is encouraging. But the real test will be in how these measures are applied day to day.
Three Sengkang Green Primary School students have been suspended after making death threats. (Images: Google Street View, Facebook/Ni Yin)
I am a parent to three teenagers who have each experienced bullying in some form.
Bullying itself is not new. Most of us would have either seen it happen or experienced it ourselves growing up. That in no way makes bullying acceptable. It is a mistake to dismiss bullying as a normal part of growing up. It is not. It is a form of trauma.
What’s changed from our time though is how fast these cases surface online, and the higher expectations today that schools and communities respond quickly and effectively.
Bullying takes many forms. Some is physical, some is verbal, some takes place entirely online. At its core, bullying is the repeated use of force, intimidation, or harassment, marked by an imbalance of power.
Globally, one in three children experience some form of bullying each month, according to UNESCO. Whatever the form, bullying is serious, harmful and can escalate rapidly. Across the border in Malaysia, a 13-year-old girl died after she was found on the ground outside her dormitory last month, after alleged abuse by peers.
Victims are often chosen because they stand out. They may be shy, anxious, or physically different. Some live with disabilities or belong to minority groups. Many are socially isolated, making them easier targets. Tragically, many internalise the blame.
In my practice, I have seen many young people scarred by bullying. Some refuse school. Some develop nightmares or unexplained physical complaints. Others fall into depression, self-harm or even have suicidal thoughts.
The pain doesn’t always go away with time. Even years later, adults who were bullied as children face higher risks of poor mental health and low self-esteem. Academic struggles and later difficulties in relationships are also common.
Screengrabs taken from a video of Montfort Secondary School students tripping and kicking a schoolmate. (Images: Facebook/Jonden Chan)
Children who bully may not be acting out of malice. Some are struggling with pain they don’t know how to express. Others lash out to feel in control. There are those who are quick-tempered, impulsive or misread social cues and assume hostility.
Some children are both victims and aggressors. These bully-victims often suffer the most, carrying both helplessness and guilt.
Research shows that bullying isn’t just harmful in the present; it can signal deeper trouble ahead. Bullying is a recognised risk factor for later antisocial behaviour and even criminality. In psychiatric terms, it is one of the diagnostic considerations for conduct disorder.
This is why intervention is not only about protecting victims, but also about preventing future harm by helping perpetrators change course early.
The effects of bullying extend beyond the victim and the aggressor. Families absorb the fallout. Parents may feel anger and helplessness if their child is the victim. Or guilt and shame if their child is the bully.
Teachers also feel the strain, balancing discipline, care for victims and communication with parents. Their well-being matters, because exhausted teachers cannot always intervene as effectively as they would like.
The challenge for schools and families is not only to respond well when bullying is reported, but also to create environments where children feel safe enough to speak up in the first place.
In the Sengkang Green case, the girl endured bullying for months and had reported it several times. After her mother lodged a formal complaint, the threats escalated. Incidents like this may give the impression that speaking up may lead to more danger, not safety.
This fear is not uncommon. A recent National Institute of Education study found that while one in four upper-primary students had experienced bullying, almost half remained silent.
Children stay silent out of shame, fear of retaliation, or the worry that adults will brush it off. In cyberbullying, the absence of concrete evidence makes disclosure even harder.
Bullying cases today do not stay behind school gates. They unfold on social media, in the press and on forums. In striving for fairness, schools may sometimes approach bullying as a conflict to be resolved, weighing counterclaims before safety is restored.
All sides should be heard, but the immediate priority must be to stop the harassment and re-establish safety for the victim.
In the Sengkang Green case, some members of the public have raised concerns over the school’s handling of the case and why the girl was not separated from the three boys earlier.
This is why MOE's current review is significant. At the same time, schools need to go further than disciplinary measures alone. Discipline is important, but protection and reassurance must come alongside it. Children need to see that safety plans are real, that teachers intervene early, and that restorative approaches, such as restorative circles, can help repair harm.
Equally important is the culture of a school. Rules set boundaries, but culture determines whether children actually feel safe and connected. School connectedness is one of the strongest protective factors. When children feel they belong and are valued in their community, they are less likely to harm others and more likely to speak up when harm occurs.
Central to this culture is psychological safety. Students, teachers, and parents must feel they can raise concerns, admit mistakes, and ask for help without fear of ridicule or punishment. When psychological safety is present, children are more willing to report bullying and teachers can act decisively.
This culture must also extend to protecting teachers. Some face threats of lawsuits, online shaming, or hostile confrontations. Teachers cannot model respect and kindness if they themselves are subjected to harsh treatment.
Additionally, peers play a crucial role. Many victims confide in friends before they tell adults. Bystanders can either reinforce harm or protect against it. Schools can strengthen this by teaching and encouraging active bystander behaviour.
Finally, parents play a preventive role. Conversations about empathy and respect must start early. When parents model how to disagree without insult and how to stand up for others, they show children what healthy conflict looks like.
As one school principal shared with me, teaching children to be resilient is as important as teaching them to be kind and considerate. There will always be people who are unkind, sometimes not intentionally. Helping children learn to manage difficult moments, without losing confidence or compassion, is part of preparing them for life beyond school.
Children need to know home is a safe place to talk about their fears. Asking if they feel safe, listening, and watching for changes in behaviour are simple but powerful steps.
Parents must also be careful in their response. Taking away a child's phone because of cyberbullying may feel protective, but it can discourage disclosure in future. What children need most is to be heard, believed, and supported.
Bullying is not a phase; it is not an inevitable part of growing up. It is serious, preventable, and carries lifelong consequences if ignored.
Every child deserves to feel safe in school and at home. That is the standard we must hold ourselves to.
Dr Jared Ng is a psychiatrist in private practice. He was previously the chief of the department of emergency and crisis care at the Institute of Mental Health. A father of three teenagers, he has also served as a school board volunteer for nearly a decade.
Where to get help:
National mental health helpline: 1771
Samaritans of Singapore Hotline: 1767
Singapore Association for Mental Health Helpline: 1800 283 7019
You can also find a list of international helplines here. If someone you know is at immediate risk, call 24-hour emergency medical services.
Continue reading...
Disciplinary frameworks will be reviewed, bullying reporting channels will be made more accessible to students, and peer support in schools strengthened.
The goal, it seems, is in part to rebuild trust with parents.
That trust has taken a hit in recent months. The case at Sengkang Green Primary School – in which three Primary 3 boys were suspended after threatening to kill their classmate and her family - shocked many parents. An audio clip containing a death threat was recorded and sent directly to the girl’s mother after she had reported bullying. For a child to hear her peers speak in such a chilling manner must be terrifying. For parents, it is unthinkable.
Just months earlier, a video emerged showing a Secondary 1 boy from Montfort Secondary School being kicked and tripped repeatedly as he tried to walk away. The school disciplined the boys involved and offered counselling.
Both episodes raised hard questions about safety in schools, and whether victims feel protected soon enough.
MOE’s ongoing review of its processes to address bullying is encouraging. But the real test will be in how these measures are applied day to day.
Three Sengkang Green Primary School students have been suspended after making death threats. (Images: Google Street View, Facebook/Ni Yin)
WHY BULLYING HAPPENS
I am a parent to three teenagers who have each experienced bullying in some form.
Bullying itself is not new. Most of us would have either seen it happen or experienced it ourselves growing up. That in no way makes bullying acceptable. It is a mistake to dismiss bullying as a normal part of growing up. It is not. It is a form of trauma.
What’s changed from our time though is how fast these cases surface online, and the higher expectations today that schools and communities respond quickly and effectively.
Bullying takes many forms. Some is physical, some is verbal, some takes place entirely online. At its core, bullying is the repeated use of force, intimidation, or harassment, marked by an imbalance of power.
Globally, one in three children experience some form of bullying each month, according to UNESCO. Whatever the form, bullying is serious, harmful and can escalate rapidly. Across the border in Malaysia, a 13-year-old girl died after she was found on the ground outside her dormitory last month, after alleged abuse by peers.
Victims are often chosen because they stand out. They may be shy, anxious, or physically different. Some live with disabilities or belong to minority groups. Many are socially isolated, making them easier targets. Tragically, many internalise the blame.
In my practice, I have seen many young people scarred by bullying. Some refuse school. Some develop nightmares or unexplained physical complaints. Others fall into depression, self-harm or even have suicidal thoughts.
The pain doesn’t always go away with time. Even years later, adults who were bullied as children face higher risks of poor mental health and low self-esteem. Academic struggles and later difficulties in relationships are also common.
Screengrabs taken from a video of Montfort Secondary School students tripping and kicking a schoolmate. (Images: Facebook/Jonden Chan)
UNDERSTANDING BULLYING BEHAVIOUR
Children who bully may not be acting out of malice. Some are struggling with pain they don’t know how to express. Others lash out to feel in control. There are those who are quick-tempered, impulsive or misread social cues and assume hostility.
Some children are both victims and aggressors. These bully-victims often suffer the most, carrying both helplessness and guilt.
Research shows that bullying isn’t just harmful in the present; it can signal deeper trouble ahead. Bullying is a recognised risk factor for later antisocial behaviour and even criminality. In psychiatric terms, it is one of the diagnostic considerations for conduct disorder.
This is why intervention is not only about protecting victims, but also about preventing future harm by helping perpetrators change course early.
The effects of bullying extend beyond the victim and the aggressor. Families absorb the fallout. Parents may feel anger and helplessness if their child is the victim. Or guilt and shame if their child is the bully.
Teachers also feel the strain, balancing discipline, care for victims and communication with parents. Their well-being matters, because exhausted teachers cannot always intervene as effectively as they would like.
Related:
WHY CHILDREN STAY SILENT
The challenge for schools and families is not only to respond well when bullying is reported, but also to create environments where children feel safe enough to speak up in the first place.
In the Sengkang Green case, the girl endured bullying for months and had reported it several times. After her mother lodged a formal complaint, the threats escalated. Incidents like this may give the impression that speaking up may lead to more danger, not safety.
This fear is not uncommon. A recent National Institute of Education study found that while one in four upper-primary students had experienced bullying, almost half remained silent.
Children stay silent out of shame, fear of retaliation, or the worry that adults will brush it off. In cyberbullying, the absence of concrete evidence makes disclosure even harder.
CHILDREN NEED TO FEEL SAFE
Bullying cases today do not stay behind school gates. They unfold on social media, in the press and on forums. In striving for fairness, schools may sometimes approach bullying as a conflict to be resolved, weighing counterclaims before safety is restored.
All sides should be heard, but the immediate priority must be to stop the harassment and re-establish safety for the victim.
In the Sengkang Green case, some members of the public have raised concerns over the school’s handling of the case and why the girl was not separated from the three boys earlier.
This is why MOE's current review is significant. At the same time, schools need to go further than disciplinary measures alone. Discipline is important, but protection and reassurance must come alongside it. Children need to see that safety plans are real, that teachers intervene early, and that restorative approaches, such as restorative circles, can help repair harm.
Equally important is the culture of a school. Rules set boundaries, but culture determines whether children actually feel safe and connected. School connectedness is one of the strongest protective factors. When children feel they belong and are valued in their community, they are less likely to harm others and more likely to speak up when harm occurs.
Central to this culture is psychological safety. Students, teachers, and parents must feel they can raise concerns, admit mistakes, and ask for help without fear of ridicule or punishment. When psychological safety is present, children are more willing to report bullying and teachers can act decisively.
This culture must also extend to protecting teachers. Some face threats of lawsuits, online shaming, or hostile confrontations. Teachers cannot model respect and kindness if they themselves are subjected to harsh treatment.
Additionally, peers play a crucial role. Many victims confide in friends before they tell adults. Bystanders can either reinforce harm or protect against it. Schools can strengthen this by teaching and encouraging active bystander behaviour.
Related:
THE STANDARDS WE HAVE TO HOLD OURSELVES TO
Finally, parents play a preventive role. Conversations about empathy and respect must start early. When parents model how to disagree without insult and how to stand up for others, they show children what healthy conflict looks like.
As one school principal shared with me, teaching children to be resilient is as important as teaching them to be kind and considerate. There will always be people who are unkind, sometimes not intentionally. Helping children learn to manage difficult moments, without losing confidence or compassion, is part of preparing them for life beyond school.
Children need to know home is a safe place to talk about their fears. Asking if they feel safe, listening, and watching for changes in behaviour are simple but powerful steps.
Parents must also be careful in their response. Taking away a child's phone because of cyberbullying may feel protective, but it can discourage disclosure in future. What children need most is to be heard, believed, and supported.
Bullying is not a phase; it is not an inevitable part of growing up. It is serious, preventable, and carries lifelong consequences if ignored.
Every child deserves to feel safe in school and at home. That is the standard we must hold ourselves to.
Dr Jared Ng is a psychiatrist in private practice. He was previously the chief of the department of emergency and crisis care at the Institute of Mental Health. A father of three teenagers, he has also served as a school board volunteer for nearly a decade.
Where to get help:
National mental health helpline: 1771
Samaritans of Singapore Hotline: 1767
Singapore Association for Mental Health Helpline: 1800 283 7019
You can also find a list of international helplines here. If someone you know is at immediate risk, call 24-hour emergency medical services.
Continue reading...