It’s a Sunday, and Juliana Yong and her teenage sons have been awake since seven in the morning. After attending church, they have a whole day of activities planned – skateboarding, running, cycling, or heading to a Brazilian jiu-jitsu (BJJ) class.
Yong doesn’t just ferry her boys to these activities – she joins them, even sparring with them in the dojo. It’s the 47-year-old’s way of staying close to her boys.
The family of four is tight-knit, and this bond, she said, is grounded in sports, physical activities, and in particular, her willingness to try new things.
Yong, who has been a single mum for eight years since her youngest was six, can clock in three to five BJJ classes, a few skateboarding sessions, and regular runs or bike rides, in a week.
Yong (second from right) regularly goes for BJJ lessons with her teenage sons. (Photo: Juliana Yong)
Every few months, the family of four goes on a family trip. Not the restful, lounge-by-the-beach sort, but one packed with snowboarding, surfing or wakeboarding in countries like Japan, Malaysia or Indonesia.
When Yong was pregnant with her firstborn, Cillian, now 18, the family lived in Ireland. Then, everything from driving to the most ordinary tasks made her nervous.
Yong surfing with her sons in late 2020. (Photo: Juliana Yong)
“Even small things like driving made me anxious, I was so scared I was going to hurt my baby inside me,” she said.
When she got pregnant with her second son, Conor, the family had returned to Singapore. Her youngest son, Cionnaith, was born two years after that.
Even in Singapore, the anxiety lingered. Yong, a stay-at-home mum who runs an essential oils business, found herself avoiding certain activities out of fear that they might harm the baby or herself.
“For whatever reason, maybe it was the things I grew up hearing in my family, I was super conservative when they were inside me. So once they were out and a little older, I made it a point to have a real blast with them,” she said.
That “blast” took the form of all kinds of sports and outdoor fun from a young age. She took them swimming, got them into skateboarding, tennis, surfing, wakeboarding, even go-karting, all when they were three, five and seven years old, respectively.
The family on a snowboarding trip in 2014, when her children were three, five and seven. (Photo: Juliana Yong)
“I grew up with sports. I played tennis quite a bit, so that was one of the first things I got them to try. But more than anything, I saw how much fun they had. And I wanted to keep that going,” she said.
She laughed as she recalled how different she became once the boys were born. “Funnily enough, the moment they were out, I wasn’t as anxious anymore. I started to trust myself and them.
“If they fell on the playground, I wouldn’t rush over. I believed in letting them figure things out and getting themselves up. I was that mum who other parents would whisper, ‘Where’s this boy’s mother?’ And I’d just wave from the bench and say, ‘I’m here! Just watching!’”
Juliana’s sons are very involved in sports as they were exposed to various activities from a young age. (Photo: Juliana Yong)
As a child, Yong had dreamed of doing board sports like skateboarding and surfing, but never got the chance. “So in a way, I was living a little dream through them, and it made me so happy to see them enjoying themselves.”
In those early years, she was mostly on the sidelines. Yong didn’t have the time or energy to try anything herself.
“When they were little, it felt impossible to do anything just for me, let alone pick up a whole new sport; I was juggling so much,” she said.
“One moment I’d be changing the youngest’s diaper, the next my second-born is pulling at me for attention, then my eldest is hungry and I’m trying to feed them all – there was barely time to breathe.”
She remembers watching them skateboard for the first time in 2014. While she was filled with joy, there was also a quiet envy.
That was also the year all three boys started school, in nursery, kindergarten and primary school. With them out of the house, Yong had a few solid hours to herself.
“It was such a strange feeling. For the first time in years, I had space and real time for myself,” she said. “And I thought, why am I sitting here feeling envious watching them? I can pick up skateboarding, too.
“I always had a daredevil in me, and the idea of falling never scared me.
“Learning how to skateboard in my late thirties wasn’t intimidating – it was exciting. I was finally learning the sport I’d always dreamed about.”
To Yong, it was also about wanting to catch up to her active boys.
Whenever the family’s on holiday, Yong include sports activities in the itinerary. (Photo: Juliana Yong)
“Honestly, I just didn’t want to be the mum sitting on the bench or panting behind my boys, I wanted to be beside them, skating or playing with them.”
So she taught herself. She watched YouTube and Instagram videos, and then practised at skateparks in Somerset, East Coast Park and Lakeside, sometimes spending hours to master a single trick.
“I’d fall, but I’d just try again,” she said. “I also told myself, maybe my boys would take me more seriously once I could land a trick or two.”
Within a year, skateboarding had become a family activity, and Yong was performing tricks beside them.
She no longer found herself out of breath from chasing after them. “I was doing yoga, running, skating – I felt fitter in my late thirties than I ever did in my twenties,” she said. “And I was having so much fun.”
Earlier this year, she went on a snowboarding trip to Japan with a friend. Yong treated it as a training trip, pushing herself to learn new tricks and improve her stamina and speed.
“The next time I’m snowboarding with my sons, I can safely say I won’t get left behind,” she said.
To catch up to her active sons, Yong spent hours practising skateboard tricks and improving her stamina. (Photo: Juliana Yong)
Two years ago, Yong started doing Brazilian jiu-jitsu. She had tried Muay Thai eight years ago on a family holiday. The Thai martial art made her feel strong and confident, and she wanted to recapture that feeling. So she turned to BJJ.
“I’ve always liked interesting or less popular sports,” she said. “When I was still married, I did horse riding with my ex-husband. And whenever we went to the playground with our boys, I’d let them play on the zipline or hang upside down without fussing too much – I just liked them to try things.”
Yong says sport has brought her and her sons closer. (Photo: CNA/Izza Haziqah)
These ‘daredevil’ tendencies that her sons seem to have inherited have built a strong sense of confidence, security and connection.
Yong and her boys attend BJJ classes together at Evolve MMA, a local chain of martial arts gyms. Her favourite part of the class is getting to spar with them.
“Because the classes are filled with people of mixed ages, I spar with my sons all the time,” she said.
She added, shaking her head with a smile: “And no, they won’t give in to their mum who’s pushing 50.”
Cillian, the eldest, said that out of all the sports he’s tried with his family, BJJ is one of his favourites, with skateboarding a close second.
“It helps me with my health and strength, and I get to spend time with my mum and brothers,” he said. “And the BJJ community is really fun – you meet so many people you can learn from and be inspired by.”
At BJJ classes, Yong spars regularly with her three sons. (Photo: CNA/Izza Haziqah)
For Yong, doing sports as a family has opened her sons up to people from all walks of life.
“When we skate with our skater friends, they’ll tell me stories about National Service and joke, ‘You were just born when I was already serving!’” Cillian laughed.
Being involved in sports with her boys also allows Yong to understand them better. She gets to witness their individual quirks, struggles, victories, moods, and what lifts them or gets them down. And she adapts her parenting and communication strategies to each of them.
Yong is grateful for sports. “My eldest tells me he’s thankful to have grown up with sports and the outdoors. Even though we come from a so-called ‘broken’ family and I’m no longer with their dad, my boys and I are as close as ever.
“We write letters to each other, we express our feelings, and I’m really involved in their lives. I feel assured and thankful.”
CNA Women is a section on CNA Lifestyle that seeks to inform, empower and inspire the modern woman. If you have women-related news, issues and ideas to share with us, email CNAWomen [at] mediacorp.com.sg.
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Yong doesn’t just ferry her boys to these activities – she joins them, even sparring with them in the dojo. It’s the 47-year-old’s way of staying close to her boys.
The family of four is tight-knit, and this bond, she said, is grounded in sports, physical activities, and in particular, her willingness to try new things.
Yong, who has been a single mum for eight years since her youngest was six, can clock in three to five BJJ classes, a few skateboarding sessions, and regular runs or bike rides, in a week.
Yong (second from right) regularly goes for BJJ lessons with her teenage sons. (Photo: Juliana Yong)
Every few months, the family of four goes on a family trip. Not the restful, lounge-by-the-beach sort, but one packed with snowboarding, surfing or wakeboarding in countries like Japan, Malaysia or Indonesia.
KEEPING FIT TO KEEP UP WITH HER BOYS
When Yong was pregnant with her firstborn, Cillian, now 18, the family lived in Ireland. Then, everything from driving to the most ordinary tasks made her nervous.
Yong surfing with her sons in late 2020. (Photo: Juliana Yong)
“Even small things like driving made me anxious, I was so scared I was going to hurt my baby inside me,” she said.
When she got pregnant with her second son, Conor, the family had returned to Singapore. Her youngest son, Cionnaith, was born two years after that.
Even in Singapore, the anxiety lingered. Yong, a stay-at-home mum who runs an essential oils business, found herself avoiding certain activities out of fear that they might harm the baby or herself.
“For whatever reason, maybe it was the things I grew up hearing in my family, I was super conservative when they were inside me. So once they were out and a little older, I made it a point to have a real blast with them,” she said.
That “blast” took the form of all kinds of sports and outdoor fun from a young age. She took them swimming, got them into skateboarding, tennis, surfing, wakeboarding, even go-karting, all when they were three, five and seven years old, respectively.
The family on a snowboarding trip in 2014, when her children were three, five and seven. (Photo: Juliana Yong)
“I grew up with sports. I played tennis quite a bit, so that was one of the first things I got them to try. But more than anything, I saw how much fun they had. And I wanted to keep that going,” she said.
She laughed as she recalled how different she became once the boys were born. “Funnily enough, the moment they were out, I wasn’t as anxious anymore. I started to trust myself and them.
“If they fell on the playground, I wouldn’t rush over. I believed in letting them figure things out and getting themselves up. I was that mum who other parents would whisper, ‘Where’s this boy’s mother?’ And I’d just wave from the bench and say, ‘I’m here! Just watching!’”
Juliana’s sons are very involved in sports as they were exposed to various activities from a young age. (Photo: Juliana Yong)
As a child, Yong had dreamed of doing board sports like skateboarding and surfing, but never got the chance. “So in a way, I was living a little dream through them, and it made me so happy to see them enjoying themselves.”
In those early years, she was mostly on the sidelines. Yong didn’t have the time or energy to try anything herself.
“When they were little, it felt impossible to do anything just for me, let alone pick up a whole new sport; I was juggling so much,” she said.
“One moment I’d be changing the youngest’s diaper, the next my second-born is pulling at me for attention, then my eldest is hungry and I’m trying to feed them all – there was barely time to breathe.”
She remembers watching them skateboard for the first time in 2014. While she was filled with joy, there was also a quiet envy.
That was also the year all three boys started school, in nursery, kindergarten and primary school. With them out of the house, Yong had a few solid hours to herself.
“It was such a strange feeling. For the first time in years, I had space and real time for myself,” she said. “And I thought, why am I sitting here feeling envious watching them? I can pick up skateboarding, too.
“I always had a daredevil in me, and the idea of falling never scared me.
“Learning how to skateboard in my late thirties wasn’t intimidating – it was exciting. I was finally learning the sport I’d always dreamed about.”
To Yong, it was also about wanting to catch up to her active boys.
Whenever the family’s on holiday, Yong include sports activities in the itinerary. (Photo: Juliana Yong)
“Honestly, I just didn’t want to be the mum sitting on the bench or panting behind my boys, I wanted to be beside them, skating or playing with them.”
So she taught herself. She watched YouTube and Instagram videos, and then practised at skateparks in Somerset, East Coast Park and Lakeside, sometimes spending hours to master a single trick.
“I’d fall, but I’d just try again,” she said. “I also told myself, maybe my boys would take me more seriously once I could land a trick or two.”
Within a year, skateboarding had become a family activity, and Yong was performing tricks beside them.
She no longer found herself out of breath from chasing after them. “I was doing yoga, running, skating – I felt fitter in my late thirties than I ever did in my twenties,” she said. “And I was having so much fun.”
Earlier this year, she went on a snowboarding trip to Japan with a friend. Yong treated it as a training trip, pushing herself to learn new tricks and improve her stamina and speed.
“The next time I’m snowboarding with my sons, I can safely say I won’t get left behind,” she said.
To catch up to her active sons, Yong spent hours practising skateboard tricks and improving her stamina. (Photo: Juliana Yong)
SPORTS BRINGS THEM CLOSER
Two years ago, Yong started doing Brazilian jiu-jitsu. She had tried Muay Thai eight years ago on a family holiday. The Thai martial art made her feel strong and confident, and she wanted to recapture that feeling. So she turned to BJJ.
“I’ve always liked interesting or less popular sports,” she said. “When I was still married, I did horse riding with my ex-husband. And whenever we went to the playground with our boys, I’d let them play on the zipline or hang upside down without fussing too much – I just liked them to try things.”
Yong says sport has brought her and her sons closer. (Photo: CNA/Izza Haziqah)
These ‘daredevil’ tendencies that her sons seem to have inherited have built a strong sense of confidence, security and connection.
Yong and her boys attend BJJ classes together at Evolve MMA, a local chain of martial arts gyms. Her favourite part of the class is getting to spar with them.
“Because the classes are filled with people of mixed ages, I spar with my sons all the time,” she said.
She added, shaking her head with a smile: “And no, they won’t give in to their mum who’s pushing 50.”
Cillian, the eldest, said that out of all the sports he’s tried with his family, BJJ is one of his favourites, with skateboarding a close second.
“It helps me with my health and strength, and I get to spend time with my mum and brothers,” he said. “And the BJJ community is really fun – you meet so many people you can learn from and be inspired by.”
At BJJ classes, Yong spars regularly with her three sons. (Photo: CNA/Izza Haziqah)
For Yong, doing sports as a family has opened her sons up to people from all walks of life.
“When we skate with our skater friends, they’ll tell me stories about National Service and joke, ‘You were just born when I was already serving!’” Cillian laughed.
Being involved in sports with her boys also allows Yong to understand them better. She gets to witness their individual quirks, struggles, victories, moods, and what lifts them or gets them down. And she adapts her parenting and communication strategies to each of them.
Yong is grateful for sports. “My eldest tells me he’s thankful to have grown up with sports and the outdoors. Even though we come from a so-called ‘broken’ family and I’m no longer with their dad, my boys and I are as close as ever.
“We write letters to each other, we express our feelings, and I’m really involved in their lives. I feel assured and thankful.”
CNA Women is a section on CNA Lifestyle that seeks to inform, empower and inspire the modern woman. If you have women-related news, issues and ideas to share with us, email CNAWomen [at] mediacorp.com.sg.
Continue reading...