Most of us go out of our way to avoid thinking about death. But for 54-year-old Stephanie Chan and her daughter Rachael Tay, 25, who run a funeral service business, confronting death is part of everyday life.
As part of the family helming Casket Fairprice (no relation to the FairPrice supermarket chain), the mother-daughter duo helps bereaved families navigate loss, grief and final farewells.
And in helping others say goodbye, they have learnt how to live and love – fully and without regrets. That’s what they told CNA Women during an interview at their office in Sin Ming Drive, which houses an embalming room and a funeral parlour.
Chan serves as the company’s director while Tay is its corporate development manager.
“Life is really very short and unpredictable,” said Tay. “Being in this line of work, you realise that time is limited, and that things can happen anytime to people whom you love… so you need to treasure them while they’re still around.”
Their respective journeys into an unconventional profession began decades apart, but both women eventually found their footing in a male-dominated industry that’s often hidden from public view.
A small-town girl from Melaka, Malaysia, Chan moved to Singapore in 1989 to work in an electronics factory, starting as a line worker before being promoted to an admin clerk.
She later left her job to help her husband. He had joined his family’s funeral service business as an embalmer but was soon struggling to keep up with various aspects of operations, from embalming to coordinating bereavement services.
At the time, Tay – the couple’s eldest of three daughters – was one year old.
The company had a policy that every new employee be placed in a role that matches their work experience, so family ties notwithstanding, Chan started at the bottom.
Recalling her fear and inexperience, the older woman said: “On my first day of work, I didn’t dare move around and only stayed in the office doing paperwork. I was that
Stephanie Chan (left) started helping her husband with his family’s funeral business when her firstborn, Rachael, was one year old. (Photo: Rachael Tay)
She also recalled assisting her husband in the embalming room for the first time.
“I was supposed to help with undressing the body, but my hands were shaking nonstop. After a while, my husband asked why I hadn’t even unbuttoned a single button. I just couldn’t muster up the courage to carry out the task,” she said.
“Thinking back, I wonder why I was so frightened back then. After all, death is a journey that everyone takes.”
Chan’s initial fears were a stark contrast to her firstborn’s gung-ho attitude towards the job. The younger woman sat in on her first embalming session “almost immediately”, within the first few weeks on the job.
Whatever hesitation Chan had about her daughter entering the funeral trade quickly vanished when she saw how calm and composed she was. She was surprised but also proud that her daughter, only 19 at the time, showed no fear.
“To be honest, I was happy and comforted when she expressed interest in this line of work,” said Chan. “My husband and I have always felt that we need more young people to join the funeral trade.”
For Tay, stepping up wasn’t just about learning the ropes; “I wanted the staff to know that I can do it. That was a push factor for me,” she explained.
Now 25, the business administration graduate, who has an embalmer certification, manages various aspects of the business, such as operations and planning.
Since joining the family business, Tay has brought about change. The embalming facility has been upgraded twice within three years, expanded in space and redesigned to look more clinical and surgical. Specialised teams in human resource, accounting and customer service have been established to streamline processes.
In 2020, the mother and daughter co-founded Petal Elements, a bereavement flower service under Casket Fairprice. Previously, they worked with external vendors but the pair felt that they could do more for grieving families.
The mother and daughter co-founded a bereavement flower shop in 2020 to allow for customised arrangements and better quality control. (Photo: Rachael Tay)
“Flowers are a very important visual aspect for the bereaved. We felt that by having our own floral team, we could customise arrangements and ensure better quality control,” Tay said.
As a young woman entering a traditionally male-dominated workplace, she said: “There were many senior, very experienced people at work. Coming in as a young girl and the boss’ daughter, I felt a lot of pressure.
“I was worried that the staff wouldn’t accept me or my ideas. I felt like I ‘represented’ my parents, so there was a lot of self-imposed pressure, even though they didn’t put that on me.”
The most difficult parts of the job aren’t necessarily technical. One of the toughest cases Tay encountered involved arranging the cremation of a friend’s unborn baby a few months ago.
“That was very hard for me personally because the parents are very close to my age,” she said. “When you see how affected they are during the service, it was tough emotionally.”
Still, neither mother nor daughter regret their unconventional career choice. Chan said she finds meaning in supporting families through one of the hardest moments of their lives.
“In the past, I wouldn’t tell people that I worked in the funeral trade because I was afraid of it myself. But now, I openly share about the values and mindset behind what we do, and help people understand the importance of preparing for death,” she added.
So, what makes a “good” funeral? It’s one that brings peace of mind, the women said.
“To us, it means ensuring the family doesn’t have to worry about anything, so that they can focus fully on accompanying their deceased loved one through their final farewell,” said Chan.
Does she talk about her own funeral plans? “Yes, we do,” Chan said. “I like nature and I love looking at the sea – so I told them to scatter my ashes into the sea. As for the service itself, I want it to be peaceful and they should play the songs I like.”
She added: “If you’re not in this line, you might find it uncomfortable to talk about death, but after being in this business, I’ve learnt that this is a natural part of life.”
Mother and daughter at work. (Photo: Rachael Tay)
For her daughter, however, who is very close to her parents, the thought of one day losing them remains unthinkable.
“It’s hard for me to say how I prepare for that day,” Tay said quietly. “No matter how much you prepare, it’ll still be very sad and very hard. All I can think of is, before that day comes, I just want to spend more time with my parents. That’s the only thing I can control.”
Working side by side has deepened their bond, even though the mother and daughter admit to having the occasional disagreement.
For Tay, joining the business gave her a new perspective on the woman who raised her. “After joining the business, I saw how my mum works with a very male-dominated team, managing the logistics and supplies. I see how strong she is.”
She added that her mother often reminds her to “be like water”, drawing from Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu’s philosophy that water is soft, fluid and yielding, yet will always flow silently to where it is needed to nourish all things.
Chan, in turn, said that working with her daughter lets her see “how brave Rachael is”.
Asked if she had any advice for her younger self, Chan paused before replying with a smile: “I’d tell my younger self: Be brave. Don’t be afraid and be steadfast in your choices. I hope you’ll have courage in whatever you do – just like I do right now, bravely sitting here, taking this interview and sharing our story.”
CNA Women is a section on CNA Lifestyle that seeks to inform, empower and inspire the modern woman. If you have women-related news, issues and ideas to share with us, email CNAWomen [at] mediacorp.com.sg.
Continue reading...
As part of the family helming Casket Fairprice (no relation to the FairPrice supermarket chain), the mother-daughter duo helps bereaved families navigate loss, grief and final farewells.
And in helping others say goodbye, they have learnt how to live and love – fully and without regrets. That’s what they told CNA Women during an interview at their office in Sin Ming Drive, which houses an embalming room and a funeral parlour.
Chan serves as the company’s director while Tay is its corporate development manager.
“Life is really very short and unpredictable,” said Tay. “Being in this line of work, you realise that time is limited, and that things can happen anytime to people whom you love… so you need to treasure them while they’re still around.”
FROM FACTORY WORK TO THE FUNERAL TRADE
Their respective journeys into an unconventional profession began decades apart, but both women eventually found their footing in a male-dominated industry that’s often hidden from public view.
A small-town girl from Melaka, Malaysia, Chan moved to Singapore in 1989 to work in an electronics factory, starting as a line worker before being promoted to an admin clerk.
She later left her job to help her husband. He had joined his family’s funeral service business as an embalmer but was soon struggling to keep up with various aspects of operations, from embalming to coordinating bereavement services.
At the time, Tay – the couple’s eldest of three daughters – was one year old.
The company had a policy that every new employee be placed in a role that matches their work experience, so family ties notwithstanding, Chan started at the bottom.
Recalling her fear and inexperience, the older woman said: “On my first day of work, I didn’t dare move around and only stayed in the office doing paperwork. I was that
Stephanie Chan (left) started helping her husband with his family’s funeral business when her firstborn, Rachael, was one year old. (Photo: Rachael Tay)
She also recalled assisting her husband in the embalming room for the first time.
“I was supposed to help with undressing the body, but my hands were shaking nonstop. After a while, my husband asked why I hadn’t even unbuttoned a single button. I just couldn’t muster up the courage to carry out the task,” she said.
“Thinking back, I wonder why I was so frightened back then. After all, death is a journey that everyone takes.”
Chan’s initial fears were a stark contrast to her firstborn’s gung-ho attitude towards the job. The younger woman sat in on her first embalming session “almost immediately”, within the first few weeks on the job.
Whatever hesitation Chan had about her daughter entering the funeral trade quickly vanished when she saw how calm and composed she was. She was surprised but also proud that her daughter, only 19 at the time, showed no fear.
“To be honest, I was happy and comforted when she expressed interest in this line of work,” said Chan. “My husband and I have always felt that we need more young people to join the funeral trade.”
PRESSURE TO PROVE HERSELF
For Tay, stepping up wasn’t just about learning the ropes; “I wanted the staff to know that I can do it. That was a push factor for me,” she explained.
Now 25, the business administration graduate, who has an embalmer certification, manages various aspects of the business, such as operations and planning.
Since joining the family business, Tay has brought about change. The embalming facility has been upgraded twice within three years, expanded in space and redesigned to look more clinical and surgical. Specialised teams in human resource, accounting and customer service have been established to streamline processes.
In 2020, the mother and daughter co-founded Petal Elements, a bereavement flower service under Casket Fairprice. Previously, they worked with external vendors but the pair felt that they could do more for grieving families.
The mother and daughter co-founded a bereavement flower shop in 2020 to allow for customised arrangements and better quality control. (Photo: Rachael Tay)
“Flowers are a very important visual aspect for the bereaved. We felt that by having our own floral team, we could customise arrangements and ensure better quality control,” Tay said.
As a young woman entering a traditionally male-dominated workplace, she said: “There were many senior, very experienced people at work. Coming in as a young girl and the boss’ daughter, I felt a lot of pressure.
“I was worried that the staff wouldn’t accept me or my ideas. I felt like I ‘represented’ my parents, so there was a lot of self-imposed pressure, even though they didn’t put that on me.”
The most difficult parts of the job aren’t necessarily technical. One of the toughest cases Tay encountered involved arranging the cremation of a friend’s unborn baby a few months ago.
“That was very hard for me personally because the parents are very close to my age,” she said. “When you see how affected they are during the service, it was tough emotionally.”
Still, neither mother nor daughter regret their unconventional career choice. Chan said she finds meaning in supporting families through one of the hardest moments of their lives.
“In the past, I wouldn’t tell people that I worked in the funeral trade because I was afraid of it myself. But now, I openly share about the values and mindset behind what we do, and help people understand the importance of preparing for death,” she added.
THEIR TAKE ON MORTALITY AND FINAL FAREWELLS
So, what makes a “good” funeral? It’s one that brings peace of mind, the women said.
“To us, it means ensuring the family doesn’t have to worry about anything, so that they can focus fully on accompanying their deceased loved one through their final farewell,” said Chan.
Does she talk about her own funeral plans? “Yes, we do,” Chan said. “I like nature and I love looking at the sea – so I told them to scatter my ashes into the sea. As for the service itself, I want it to be peaceful and they should play the songs I like.”
She added: “If you’re not in this line, you might find it uncomfortable to talk about death, but after being in this business, I’ve learnt that this is a natural part of life.”
Mother and daughter at work. (Photo: Rachael Tay)
For her daughter, however, who is very close to her parents, the thought of one day losing them remains unthinkable.
“It’s hard for me to say how I prepare for that day,” Tay said quietly. “No matter how much you prepare, it’ll still be very sad and very hard. All I can think of is, before that day comes, I just want to spend more time with my parents. That’s the only thing I can control.”
LESSONS FROM WORKING TOGETHER
Working side by side has deepened their bond, even though the mother and daughter admit to having the occasional disagreement.
For Tay, joining the business gave her a new perspective on the woman who raised her. “After joining the business, I saw how my mum works with a very male-dominated team, managing the logistics and supplies. I see how strong she is.”
She added that her mother often reminds her to “be like water”, drawing from Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu’s philosophy that water is soft, fluid and yielding, yet will always flow silently to where it is needed to nourish all things.
Chan, in turn, said that working with her daughter lets her see “how brave Rachael is”.
Asked if she had any advice for her younger self, Chan paused before replying with a smile: “I’d tell my younger self: Be brave. Don’t be afraid and be steadfast in your choices. I hope you’ll have courage in whatever you do – just like I do right now, bravely sitting here, taking this interview and sharing our story.”
CNA Women is a section on CNA Lifestyle that seeks to inform, empower and inspire the modern woman. If you have women-related news, issues and ideas to share with us, email CNAWomen [at] mediacorp.com.sg.
Continue reading...