Warning: This article contains details of child abuse that readers may find upsetting.
SINGAPORE: In October 2022, Azlin Arujunah was sentenced to life imprisonment for causing the death of her son. The boy had been hit with a hanger, pinched with pliers, confined in a cage for a cat, and scalded by hot water.
In September 2023, a man was sentenced to 21.5 years' jail and 18 strokes of the can for killing his two-year-old daughter Umaisyah and burning her body in a pot.
In April 2024, a man was sentenced to 34.5 years in prison and 12 strokes of the cane for killing his five-year-old daughter Ayeesha, who was smacked in the face up to 20 times in a toilet where she was kept all day with her brother.
In April 2025, Foo Li Ping was sentenced to 19 years' jail for abusing her four-year-old daughter Megan Khung for more than a year until her death, and later helping to burn her body.
Each of these fatal child abuse cases in recent years left a question in their wake: What could compel a parent to take the life of their own child?
Parents who have experienced verbal, physical, emotional or sexual abuse in their own childhood are more likely to replicate similar patterns of behaviour when raising their own children.
This was cited by experts CNA spoke to, as one of the most common reasons.
“Life tends to be very hard for them because they haven’t really made sense of why they were abused, and that provided the lenses to the way they see the world and the way they respond to the world,” said Dr Annabelle Chow, clinical psychologist at Annabelle Psychology.
Many come from families where caregivers were emotionally distant or absent, and grew up without the opportunity to develop healthy forms of communication and connection, she added.
Dr Rajesh Jacob was the defence psychiatrist for Azlin Arujunah, the mother who caged and scalded her son to death.
He said that unhealthy and abusive relationships between the parents themselves can make things worse.
For example, Azlin received “severe” physical abuse from her husband, and that was projected onto her son who looked like him, he said.
“She would get angry when she was abused by her husband ... So there was kind of (a) transference of emotions.”
Ms June Fong, principal psychologist at Promises Healthcare, also pointed to links between household dynamics and child abuse.
“For instance, children living in households with one or more male adults that are not related to them are at increased risk for maltreatment (leading to) injury or death, compared to those living with two biological parents," she said.
“Younger caregivers, families with multiple young children, and those with a history of intimate partner violence are also at higher risk of engaging in child maltreatment."
Then there are parents who struggle to balance work and family responsibilities, leading to increased tension at home especially when financial pressures or personal mental health challenges are thrown into the mix.
Dr Vivien Yang, principal psychologist at Bloom Child Psychology, said lower-income families in particular have difficulty finding this balance.
“When there are space constraints and financial constraints, stress levels will be higher and depression and anger management becomes a problem.”
Experts also pointed to substance abuse as a possible contributing factor to child abuse.
“Some substances, like alcohol and stimulants, seem to particularly exacerbate violence. I’ve seen parents who, after drinking, go from irritable to explosive in a matter of minutes,” said senior addictions therapist Tom Maniatis from Promises Healthcare.
“Stimulants, especially when used heavily, can trigger paranoia or sudden bursts of aggression."
When under the influence, awareness of a child’s condition may also be clouded and the parent may not be able to register the severity of their actions, experts said.
They also may not remember the abuse they caused.
“So intoxication not only fuels abuse, it also muddies a person’s ability to confront what they’ve done. Even when not actively high, someone with an addiction might use denial as a coping mechanism,” Mr Maniatis said.
Psychologists and psychiatrists told CNA that abuse rarely begins with physical violence, and often starts with verbal and emotional mistreatment instead.
But this can gradually escalate if parents cannot regulate their emotions or do not seek help.
“A slap becomes a routine punishment. Neglect turns to abandonment. The parent normalises each step because there are no checks, internally or externally,” said Mr Maniatis.
Asked how parents are then able to continue physically abusing their children in the face of visible injuries, Dr Chow said that by this point, they would have no mental capacity to make any form of logical decisions.
“It’s like a car going at 300 kmh and you just can’t stop it. It’s past the threshold,” she said.
“In that moment ... it’s hard for the person to walk away, especially if they don’t have healthy resources to stop this.
"They will think ‘I’m the boss. I can do whatever I want and I have no rules because this is my child'."
Dr Jacob told CNA that every time Azlin or her husband - who was also convicted for his part in the murder of their son - poured hot water on the boy, she would apply ointment on his burns and try to look after him.
“They do not realise the significance of what they did,” Dr Jacob said, adding that personality traits like violence and a lack of remorse can aggravate this.
Parents who lack control in their own childhood or relationships would also have the desire to ascertain power over their children, often leading to violence, the experts said.
Mr Maniatis from Promises noted that some parents can feel powerless in other areas of their life, and are often trapped in a cycle of poverty or untreated trauma.
In such cases, “the child becomes the one area where they can assert power”, he said.
“The rules may be inconsistent or excessively harsh, especially when the parent is under the influence or emotionally dysregulated. The intent may not always be cruelty, sometimes it’s the addict’s attempt to impose structure on a collapsing reality. But the result for the child is fear, instability, and trauma.”
Dr Chow of Annabelle Psychology added that some parents may take a child’s bad behaviour too personally, and adopt “disproportionate measures” to reassert dominance.
Asked if remorse kicks in for abusive parents, psychologists and psychiatrists said many know they are in the wrong, but are often in deep denial about the extent of harm they have caused - or would find ways to justify their behaviour to themselves.
Acknowledging they have a problem is the first and most important step to take, said Ms Jasmine Lim, deputy director of Montfort Care Child Protection.
“Parents must recognise that they have stressors and are reacting to these stressors in their interaction with their loved ones,” she added.
The next step is practising self-regulation, which can be "as simple as taking a time-out or walking away before reentering a stressful situation”.
Mr Martin Chok, Care Corner Singapore’s deputy director of family and community services, said parents must learn to develop healthy coping strategies such as breathing techniques and reinforcing positive thoughts about themselves.
“If you keep thinking negatively and that you’re a bad parent, things might just escalate. Parenthood is a lifelong journey and self-care is important,” he said.
“Make time for yourself, partake in hobbies, eat well and exercise. Find a good support system with fellow friends, family members and your spouse."
In an event where a parent cannot self-regulate or manage their emotions, they should seek external intervention from social service agencies or family service centres.
“It’s always good to seek help first. We don’t want the case to escalate beyond control or calls to come in only when there’s a death,” Mr Chok said.
Screening and child abuse reporting guides are used to help professionals manage reports of suspected child abuse, and to follow up thereafter to ensure the safety and well-being of the child.
“Of course, it is not a foolproof system – to make sure children like Meghan do not fall through the cracks, this requires a system that errs on the side of caution, which some parents may find too unforgiving,” said Ms Fong from Promises.
“This begs the question of whether as a society, are we willing to tolerate more 'false positives' and parents being investigated for complaints of child abuse."
Members of the public can also help by keeping an eye out for suspected cases of child abuse, said Montfort Care’s Ms Lim.
“Child protection is everybody’s business, not just professionals."
If you child is being abused and you wish to contact someone, contact the National Anti-Violence and Sexual Harassment Helpline at 1800-777-0000 or use its online reporting form.
Continue reading...
SINGAPORE: In October 2022, Azlin Arujunah was sentenced to life imprisonment for causing the death of her son. The boy had been hit with a hanger, pinched with pliers, confined in a cage for a cat, and scalded by hot water.
In September 2023, a man was sentenced to 21.5 years' jail and 18 strokes of the can for killing his two-year-old daughter Umaisyah and burning her body in a pot.
In April 2024, a man was sentenced to 34.5 years in prison and 12 strokes of the cane for killing his five-year-old daughter Ayeesha, who was smacked in the face up to 20 times in a toilet where she was kept all day with her brother.
In April 2025, Foo Li Ping was sentenced to 19 years' jail for abusing her four-year-old daughter Megan Khung for more than a year until her death, and later helping to burn her body.
Each of these fatal child abuse cases in recent years left a question in their wake: What could compel a parent to take the life of their own child?
Related:
WHY THIS HAPPENS
Parents who have experienced verbal, physical, emotional or sexual abuse in their own childhood are more likely to replicate similar patterns of behaviour when raising their own children.
This was cited by experts CNA spoke to, as one of the most common reasons.
“Life tends to be very hard for them because they haven’t really made sense of why they were abused, and that provided the lenses to the way they see the world and the way they respond to the world,” said Dr Annabelle Chow, clinical psychologist at Annabelle Psychology.
Many come from families where caregivers were emotionally distant or absent, and grew up without the opportunity to develop healthy forms of communication and connection, she added.
Related:
Dr Rajesh Jacob was the defence psychiatrist for Azlin Arujunah, the mother who caged and scalded her son to death.
He said that unhealthy and abusive relationships between the parents themselves can make things worse.
For example, Azlin received “severe” physical abuse from her husband, and that was projected onto her son who looked like him, he said.
“She would get angry when she was abused by her husband ... So there was kind of (a) transference of emotions.”
Ms June Fong, principal psychologist at Promises Healthcare, also pointed to links between household dynamics and child abuse.
“For instance, children living in households with one or more male adults that are not related to them are at increased risk for maltreatment (leading to) injury or death, compared to those living with two biological parents," she said.
“Younger caregivers, families with multiple young children, and those with a history of intimate partner violence are also at higher risk of engaging in child maltreatment."
Signs of an abusive parent
- Lack of empathy
- Emotionally avoidant or absent towards their children
- Would often burst into an explosive rage
- Authoritarian parenting where they think "it's my way or the highway"
- Do not believe that their children have rights to their own opinions or feelings
- A desire to be in control in all kinds of situations
- Untreated personality disorders
- Deep-seated shame and anger from their own upbringing
Sources: Dr Annabelle Chow, Mr Tom Maniatis, Dr Rajesh Jacob
Then there are parents who struggle to balance work and family responsibilities, leading to increased tension at home especially when financial pressures or personal mental health challenges are thrown into the mix.
Dr Vivien Yang, principal psychologist at Bloom Child Psychology, said lower-income families in particular have difficulty finding this balance.
“When there are space constraints and financial constraints, stress levels will be higher and depression and anger management becomes a problem.”
Experts also pointed to substance abuse as a possible contributing factor to child abuse.
“Some substances, like alcohol and stimulants, seem to particularly exacerbate violence. I’ve seen parents who, after drinking, go from irritable to explosive in a matter of minutes,” said senior addictions therapist Tom Maniatis from Promises Healthcare.
“Stimulants, especially when used heavily, can trigger paranoia or sudden bursts of aggression."
When under the influence, awareness of a child’s condition may also be clouded and the parent may not be able to register the severity of their actions, experts said.
They also may not remember the abuse they caused.
“So intoxication not only fuels abuse, it also muddies a person’s ability to confront what they’ve done. Even when not actively high, someone with an addiction might use denial as a coping mechanism,” Mr Maniatis said.
WHAT MAKES THEM KEEP GOING?
Psychologists and psychiatrists told CNA that abuse rarely begins with physical violence, and often starts with verbal and emotional mistreatment instead.
But this can gradually escalate if parents cannot regulate their emotions or do not seek help.
“A slap becomes a routine punishment. Neglect turns to abandonment. The parent normalises each step because there are no checks, internally or externally,” said Mr Maniatis.
Asked how parents are then able to continue physically abusing their children in the face of visible injuries, Dr Chow said that by this point, they would have no mental capacity to make any form of logical decisions.
“It’s like a car going at 300 kmh and you just can’t stop it. It’s past the threshold,” she said.
“In that moment ... it’s hard for the person to walk away, especially if they don’t have healthy resources to stop this.
"They will think ‘I’m the boss. I can do whatever I want and I have no rules because this is my child'."
Related:
Dr Jacob told CNA that every time Azlin or her husband - who was also convicted for his part in the murder of their son - poured hot water on the boy, she would apply ointment on his burns and try to look after him.
“They do not realise the significance of what they did,” Dr Jacob said, adding that personality traits like violence and a lack of remorse can aggravate this.
WHY POWER IS A FACTOR
Parents who lack control in their own childhood or relationships would also have the desire to ascertain power over their children, often leading to violence, the experts said.
Mr Maniatis from Promises noted that some parents can feel powerless in other areas of their life, and are often trapped in a cycle of poverty or untreated trauma.
In such cases, “the child becomes the one area where they can assert power”, he said.
“The rules may be inconsistent or excessively harsh, especially when the parent is under the influence or emotionally dysregulated. The intent may not always be cruelty, sometimes it’s the addict’s attempt to impose structure on a collapsing reality. But the result for the child is fear, instability, and trauma.”
Dr Chow of Annabelle Psychology added that some parents may take a child’s bad behaviour too personally, and adopt “disproportionate measures” to reassert dominance.
Asked if remorse kicks in for abusive parents, psychologists and psychiatrists said many know they are in the wrong, but are often in deep denial about the extent of harm they have caused - or would find ways to justify their behaviour to themselves.
WHAT ABUSIVE PARENTS MUST DO
Acknowledging they have a problem is the first and most important step to take, said Ms Jasmine Lim, deputy director of Montfort Care Child Protection.
“Parents must recognise that they have stressors and are reacting to these stressors in their interaction with their loved ones,” she added.
The next step is practising self-regulation, which can be "as simple as taking a time-out or walking away before reentering a stressful situation”.
Mr Martin Chok, Care Corner Singapore’s deputy director of family and community services, said parents must learn to develop healthy coping strategies such as breathing techniques and reinforcing positive thoughts about themselves.
“If you keep thinking negatively and that you’re a bad parent, things might just escalate. Parenthood is a lifelong journey and self-care is important,” he said.
“Make time for yourself, partake in hobbies, eat well and exercise. Find a good support system with fellow friends, family members and your spouse."
CNA938 Rewind - Spotting the signs of child abuse
In an event where a parent cannot self-regulate or manage their emotions, they should seek external intervention from social service agencies or family service centres.
“It’s always good to seek help first. We don’t want the case to escalate beyond control or calls to come in only when there’s a death,” Mr Chok said.
Screening and child abuse reporting guides are used to help professionals manage reports of suspected child abuse, and to follow up thereafter to ensure the safety and well-being of the child.
“Of course, it is not a foolproof system – to make sure children like Meghan do not fall through the cracks, this requires a system that errs on the side of caution, which some parents may find too unforgiving,” said Ms Fong from Promises.
“This begs the question of whether as a society, are we willing to tolerate more 'false positives' and parents being investigated for complaints of child abuse."
Members of the public can also help by keeping an eye out for suspected cases of child abuse, said Montfort Care’s Ms Lim.
“Child protection is everybody’s business, not just professionals."
If you child is being abused and you wish to contact someone, contact the National Anti-Violence and Sexual Harassment Helpline at 1800-777-0000 or use its online reporting form.
Related:
Continue reading...