SINGAPORE: Financial commitments, being stretched by caregiving on both ends and career pressures - this is why some people in their 30s become overwhelmed and suffer burnout, said experts.
In some cases, people take their own lives. According to provisional data released on Saturday (Jul 19), 75 people in their 30s killed themselves in 2024, up from 66 the year before. It was the age group with the highest number of suicides last year.
People in their 30s experience a range of complex pressures, said the Samaritans of Singapore (SOS), including family issues, job stability and mental health challenges.
Suicide is rarely due to a single cause. It results from an “interplay of biological, psychological, social and cultural risk factors”, coupled with a lack of resilience factors, said Dr Sharon Lu, principal clinical psychologist at the Institute of Mental Health (IMH).
“It is often assumed that depression is the cause of all suicides, but suicide is often due to the interaction of a myriad of factors and life circumstances,” she added.
“Depression may be one of the many stressors an individual is struggling with, but someone who is not depressed can still be suicidal.”
People in their 30s often form what is called the “sandwich generation”, where they are juggling many responsibilities – building careers, raising young children, supporting ageing parents, while managing financial commitments.
People in this age group also face other “distinct stressors” that can significantly impact their mental health, said Dr Lu.
These include concerns about job security coinciding with substantial financial responsibilities, such as a housing loan and family expenses.
“Many are simultaneously managing parenting responsibilities, maintaining relationships, and caring for ageing parents,” she added.
“The pressure to meet societal expectations and perceived life achievements can further compound these stresses and create social isolation.”
Dr David Teo, psychiatrist and deputy medical director of Connections Mind Health, said some people may feel disillusioned if life had not turned out as they hoped.
“Goals and dreams from their 20s that remain unfulfilled can lead to a sense of failure or hopelessness,” he added.
Comparison is a big stressor, especially with social media, where people “constantly measure their lives against others’ and feel left behind”.
Dr Teo also pointed to potential chronic physical health conditions or mental health issues cropping up in this age group.
SOS’ senior manager and lead counsellor Chan May Peng said many people in their 30s are “at crossroads”, questioning career choices, navigating relationship commitments, or adjusting to caregiving roles, sometimes while managing these responsibilities alone.
“These overlapping stressors can take a toll on their emotional well-being and may contribute to increased distress or suicidality.”
The experts pointed to several signs that someone is highly stressed: changes in sleep and appetite patterns, physical fatigue, increased irritability and high anxiety. Some people may have feelings of guilt and self-blame.
One way to build strong social support is by staying connected with trusted friends, family or faith communities, said Dr Teo.
“Prioritising self-care is also key – setting healthy boundaries, ensuring adequate sleep and rest, and making time for activities that recharge them,” said the psychiatrist.
“Practising self-compassion can help too, by setting realistic expectations and understanding that setbacks are a normal part of life and opportunities for growth.”
He added: “I think it’s important for us to create a culture of safety where we can feel safe to share with others and to be human … We all have bad days and that is part and parcel of the human experience.”
Dr Lu said: “Sometimes, people may feel like they don’t have enough time for self-care, but it is not something to be done only when it’s convenient.
“Furthermore, maintaining clear work-life boundaries and building strong social support networks through family, friends, and community can provide crucial emotional support.”
Besides regular exercise, healthy sleep habits and stress-management activities such as meditation are useful. Developing financial literacy can also help with economic pressures. Ms Chan advised having “simple but intentional” strategies to better manage stress and maintain emotional balance.
Set aside short pockets of time each day to take a walk after work, spend 10 minutes in a park before heading home or listen to music. These can serve as a “mental reset” after a long day, she said.
“Journalling has also been helpful for some, especially when it includes reflections on daily experiences and ends with noting something they’re grateful for.
“This practice can shift focus away from overwhelming thoughts and foster a sense of perspective.”
She added: “While these steps may seem small, when practised consistently, they create space for emotional recovery and reduce the mental load that many in this age group carry.”
If people are experiencing persistent low mood, anxiety, hopelessness or suicidal thoughts, they should seek help early by consulting a professional, said Dr Teo.
A way to handle stress is to a build strong social support. (Photo: iStock/Suriyawut Suriya)
“Have you been thinking about suicide?” Asking this simple and direct question is key to creating a safe space for someone to open up, said SOS’ Ms Chua.
Dr Teo said that many people worry that asking this question may “plant the idea”, but it actually shows that you care and opens the door for help.
“Encourage them to seek professional help immediately, and if possible, offer to accompany them. Check in with them regularly to remind them that they are not alone in their struggles,” he added.
There are warning signs to look out for: talk of death or suicide, expressions of hopelessness or feeling trapped, withdrawal from family, friends or activities.
They may also unexpectedly get their affairs in order, such as giving away possessions or writing a suicide note.
Social media posts can also offer clues.
“Pay attention to their online behaviours - what they like, comment on, follow or post. If you see someone posting status updates, photos or videos that suggest emotional distress or reacting to posts that promote negative behaviours, these may be some warning signs,” said IMH’s Dr Lu.
If someone does not want to talk, encourage them to seek help.
“Let them know that seeking help is not a sign of weakness and everyone deserves support,” said Dr Lu.
“You can offer practical support, such as offering to accompany them for their appointments, if necessary. You can also explore what coping resources they have tried so far and what they found helpful.”
But don’t promise to keep suicidal thoughts a secret, she added.
“Tell them you would like to be there for them, but you need to involve others, like a trusted adult.”
Even with the best intentions, trying too hard to give advice can be counterproductive. It is also unhelpful to tell people they are being selfish if they take their own lives.
“People who are suicidal are often already struggling with guilt and being a burden to others, and adding to their guilt will not be helpful,” she explained.
“Instead, let them know that you care for them, are interested in understanding them and invite them to communicate with you.”
Ms Chan said it is important to remain non-judgmental and patient, while showing genuine concern.
“You do not need to have all the answers. What matters most is being there, to listen without judgment, validate their pain, and encourage them to seek help,” she added.
People who want to be better prepared can be trained in SOS’ Be A Samaritan programme, where they learn to be a first responder.
“Even if you’re not a mental health professional, your support can be a turning point for someone in distress.”
Where to get help:
National mental health helpline: 1771
Samaritans of Singapore Hotline: 1767
Singapore Association for Mental Health Helpline: 1800 283 7019
You can also find a list of international helplines here. If someone you know is at immediate risk, call 24-hour emergency medical services.
Continue reading...
In some cases, people take their own lives. According to provisional data released on Saturday (Jul 19), 75 people in their 30s killed themselves in 2024, up from 66 the year before. It was the age group with the highest number of suicides last year.
People in their 30s experience a range of complex pressures, said the Samaritans of Singapore (SOS), including family issues, job stability and mental health challenges.
Suicide is rarely due to a single cause. It results from an “interplay of biological, psychological, social and cultural risk factors”, coupled with a lack of resilience factors, said Dr Sharon Lu, principal clinical psychologist at the Institute of Mental Health (IMH).
“It is often assumed that depression is the cause of all suicides, but suicide is often due to the interaction of a myriad of factors and life circumstances,” she added.
“Depression may be one of the many stressors an individual is struggling with, but someone who is not depressed can still be suicidal.”
“SANDWICH GENERATION”
People in their 30s often form what is called the “sandwich generation”, where they are juggling many responsibilities – building careers, raising young children, supporting ageing parents, while managing financial commitments.
People in this age group also face other “distinct stressors” that can significantly impact their mental health, said Dr Lu.
These include concerns about job security coinciding with substantial financial responsibilities, such as a housing loan and family expenses.
“Many are simultaneously managing parenting responsibilities, maintaining relationships, and caring for ageing parents,” she added.
“The pressure to meet societal expectations and perceived life achievements can further compound these stresses and create social isolation.”
Dr David Teo, psychiatrist and deputy medical director of Connections Mind Health, said some people may feel disillusioned if life had not turned out as they hoped.
“Goals and dreams from their 20s that remain unfulfilled can lead to a sense of failure or hopelessness,” he added.
Comparison is a big stressor, especially with social media, where people “constantly measure their lives against others’ and feel left behind”.
Dr Teo also pointed to potential chronic physical health conditions or mental health issues cropping up in this age group.
Related:
SOS’ senior manager and lead counsellor Chan May Peng said many people in their 30s are “at crossroads”, questioning career choices, navigating relationship commitments, or adjusting to caregiving roles, sometimes while managing these responsibilities alone.
“These overlapping stressors can take a toll on their emotional well-being and may contribute to increased distress or suicidality.”
DEALING WITH HIGH STRESS
The experts pointed to several signs that someone is highly stressed: changes in sleep and appetite patterns, physical fatigue, increased irritability and high anxiety. Some people may have feelings of guilt and self-blame.
One way to build strong social support is by staying connected with trusted friends, family or faith communities, said Dr Teo.
“Prioritising self-care is also key – setting healthy boundaries, ensuring adequate sleep and rest, and making time for activities that recharge them,” said the psychiatrist.
“Practising self-compassion can help too, by setting realistic expectations and understanding that setbacks are a normal part of life and opportunities for growth.”
He added: “I think it’s important for us to create a culture of safety where we can feel safe to share with others and to be human … We all have bad days and that is part and parcel of the human experience.”
Dr Lu said: “Sometimes, people may feel like they don’t have enough time for self-care, but it is not something to be done only when it’s convenient.
“Furthermore, maintaining clear work-life boundaries and building strong social support networks through family, friends, and community can provide crucial emotional support.”
Besides regular exercise, healthy sleep habits and stress-management activities such as meditation are useful. Developing financial literacy can also help with economic pressures. Ms Chan advised having “simple but intentional” strategies to better manage stress and maintain emotional balance.
Set aside short pockets of time each day to take a walk after work, spend 10 minutes in a park before heading home or listen to music. These can serve as a “mental reset” after a long day, she said.
“Journalling has also been helpful for some, especially when it includes reflections on daily experiences and ends with noting something they’re grateful for.
“This practice can shift focus away from overwhelming thoughts and foster a sense of perspective.”
She added: “While these steps may seem small, when practised consistently, they create space for emotional recovery and reduce the mental load that many in this age group carry.”
If people are experiencing persistent low mood, anxiety, hopelessness or suicidal thoughts, they should seek help early by consulting a professional, said Dr Teo.
A way to handle stress is to a build strong social support. (Photo: iStock/Suriyawut Suriya)
WHAT IF A LOVED ONE IS SUICIDAL?
“Have you been thinking about suicide?” Asking this simple and direct question is key to creating a safe space for someone to open up, said SOS’ Ms Chua.
Dr Teo said that many people worry that asking this question may “plant the idea”, but it actually shows that you care and opens the door for help.
“Encourage them to seek professional help immediately, and if possible, offer to accompany them. Check in with them regularly to remind them that they are not alone in their struggles,” he added.
There are warning signs to look out for: talk of death or suicide, expressions of hopelessness or feeling trapped, withdrawal from family, friends or activities.
They may also unexpectedly get their affairs in order, such as giving away possessions or writing a suicide note.
Social media posts can also offer clues.
“Pay attention to their online behaviours - what they like, comment on, follow or post. If you see someone posting status updates, photos or videos that suggest emotional distress or reacting to posts that promote negative behaviours, these may be some warning signs,” said IMH’s Dr Lu.
If someone does not want to talk, encourage them to seek help.
“Let them know that seeking help is not a sign of weakness and everyone deserves support,” said Dr Lu.
“You can offer practical support, such as offering to accompany them for their appointments, if necessary. You can also explore what coping resources they have tried so far and what they found helpful.”
But don’t promise to keep suicidal thoughts a secret, she added.
“Tell them you would like to be there for them, but you need to involve others, like a trusted adult.”
Listen:
Even with the best intentions, trying too hard to give advice can be counterproductive. It is also unhelpful to tell people they are being selfish if they take their own lives.
“People who are suicidal are often already struggling with guilt and being a burden to others, and adding to their guilt will not be helpful,” she explained.
“Instead, let them know that you care for them, are interested in understanding them and invite them to communicate with you.”
Ms Chan said it is important to remain non-judgmental and patient, while showing genuine concern.
“You do not need to have all the answers. What matters most is being there, to listen without judgment, validate their pain, and encourage them to seek help,” she added.
People who want to be better prepared can be trained in SOS’ Be A Samaritan programme, where they learn to be a first responder.
“Even if you’re not a mental health professional, your support can be a turning point for someone in distress.”
Where to get help:
National mental health helpline: 1771
Samaritans of Singapore Hotline: 1767
Singapore Association for Mental Health Helpline: 1800 283 7019
You can also find a list of international helplines here. If someone you know is at immediate risk, call 24-hour emergency medical services.
Continue reading...