Xixi Lim’s public image may be, in her own words, “cutesy and fun-loving”, but really, she quipped, her dream is to play a ninja one day.
That day is not today. She is, however, marking a different milestone in her acting career – she’s scored her first lead role in a movie, playing a character much closer to herself in real life: An aspiring content creator who finds herself embroiled in a very intense pineapple tart competition.
A Good Fortune, in cinemas Jan 29, is a Chinese New Year-themed film from first-time director Jason Lee that also stars Wang Weiliang, Liu Ling Ling, Henry Thia, Patricia Mok and Usha Seamkhum of How To Make Millions Before Grandma Dies.
Xixi Lim with co-stars Liu Ling Ling and Wang Weiliang in A Good Fortune. (Photo: A Good Fortune)
Lim, 38, is no stranger to the big screen – her film credits include Ah Girls Go Army and I Not Stupid 3 – or the small screen, having starred in the drama series The Blockbusters in addition to parts in a host of other shows. On top of being an actress, she’s also a host, comedienne, model and content creator (phew, what a mouthful).
But, when it came to her first big movie role, “I questioned myself a lot, actually,” she said. In the end, “I always wanted to be in a Chinese New Year movie. I like feel-good movies. So, I thought it was a sign that I should do it.”
She also loves the Chinese New Year season. “It’s very vibey and happy. I love everything about Chinese New Year.” Even the small talk doesn’t bother her. “I can fake it till I make it!” To avoid awkward questions from relatives, “I choose to hide in a corner. Then again, it's quite hard to hide myself – I’m very visible at all times!” She chortled.
(Photo: CNA/Dillon Tan)
If that fails and a really personal question comes her way, “I pretend I’m choking on the Chinese New Year goodies, and I’ll ask for water, and everyone will be in panic mode and they will forget about it.” Take notes, friends.
Pineapple tarts, though, have strong emotional associations for her. “My late grandmother made very yummy pineapple tarts. She passed on close to 10 years ago but it feels like yesterday. I like pineapples, but I don’t like the pineapple filling in pineapple tarts. I always separate the filling and eat the tart. My grandmother noticed that, so every year without fail, she would make me a jar of tarts without the pineapple. It was my childhood, and something I looked forward to.
“So, when Jason, our director, told me that the movie was about pineapple tarts, it was kind of like a call; a connection between me and my grandmother.”
Just don’t ask her to bake them herself. “I’m interested, but my family stops me from doing it because they don't want me to burn the kitchen down,” she guffawed.
“I'm not very good in the kitchen. I always forget to season my cooking, or I will burn it somehow. Most of my food isn’t edible. It’s tasteless. That's what my family says. I remember I was making a wrap on a livestream, and I put it in the oven. When I took it out, the whole wrap just fell to the ground. So, if you ask me whether it was yummy, I can’t tell you, because no one got to eat it. Everyone was just like, ‘You need to stop cooking’.”
(Photo: CNA/Dillon Tan)
Although she wouldn’t dream of letting that affect her confidence today, if you want to know what she was like “maybe 20 years ago”, her character in the movie – timid and diffident – will answer that question. "When I got the script, I told the director, ‘Hey, this is teenaged me’,” she said. “I love singing, and I’m pretty good at it, but back then, I was so scared that people would judge me.”
She mused: “People always ask me, ‘What would you tell your younger self?’ I always answer, ‘You have wasted too much time. If you had started earlier, you would have gained so much more.’ I spent so much time contemplating, being paranoid, thinking, ‘If I do this, will people like me? Will people hate me?’ If you can spend so much time and energy thinking about all this, why not channel the energy into doing something that will work for you?”
As Lim’s profile has grown – she does it all: modelling, content creation and even owning a dance studio, in addition to acting and hosting – so has her role as an unofficial voice for plus-sized representation. It's something she embraces, but not without cost.
“A lot of people tell me, ‘Xixi, you are very confident,’” she said. “I keep telling people that confidence is within you. I can’t teach you how to be confident – it has to come from you. You need to be very comfortable in your own skin.”
(Photo: CNA/Dillon Tan)
That confidence was hard-won. Lim described years of being told what she should and shouldn’t wear, how she should present herself, and what was “appropriate” for her size. “If everyone is telling you you should do this, you should do that, you will never feel happy about yourself, and you will never find what works for you,” she said. After all these years, I just learned to turn away from all the negativity.
Eventually, she chose a different path: “I’m just going to do things that make myself happy. I want to be me whether or not you like it. It's okay if you really don't like how I dress or how I behave, as long as I'm not rude to you and I’m still being respectful. Maybe we're just not meant for one another. It's okay. Someone else will appreciate what I'm wearing, what I'm doing. Maybe, I can make someone else smile.”
Visibility, of course, brings scrutiny. Even mundane posts – of her eating a meal, perhaps – can attract cruel commentary. “People will say, ‘Why is she constantly eating?’ But, we’re human. We’re supposed to eat to survive.” The exhaustion, she admitted, is real. “It’s a battle between wanting to share and not wanting to share because you don’t want to be a target.”
What keeps her moving forward are the messages she receives from people who are encouraged by her. “They tell me, ‘You are an inspiration. If you can do it, we can do it, too.’” That sense of responsibility has reshaped how she approaches fear. “Whenever I’m afraid or feel that I might not succeed, I tell myself I need to set an example for people who are too afraid to try.”
What makes her feel successful today? “When I’m walking on the street and people call out my name,” she said. “Even if they don’t remember my name, they’ll say, ‘You’re the round, cute one.’ That works for me!”
A Good Fortune is in cinemas from Jan 29.
Continue reading...
That day is not today. She is, however, marking a different milestone in her acting career – she’s scored her first lead role in a movie, playing a character much closer to herself in real life: An aspiring content creator who finds herself embroiled in a very intense pineapple tart competition.
A Good Fortune, in cinemas Jan 29, is a Chinese New Year-themed film from first-time director Jason Lee that also stars Wang Weiliang, Liu Ling Ling, Henry Thia, Patricia Mok and Usha Seamkhum of How To Make Millions Before Grandma Dies.
Xixi Lim with co-stars Liu Ling Ling and Wang Weiliang in A Good Fortune. (Photo: A Good Fortune)
Lim, 38, is no stranger to the big screen – her film credits include Ah Girls Go Army and I Not Stupid 3 – or the small screen, having starred in the drama series The Blockbusters in addition to parts in a host of other shows. On top of being an actress, she’s also a host, comedienne, model and content creator (phew, what a mouthful).
But, when it came to her first big movie role, “I questioned myself a lot, actually,” she said. In the end, “I always wanted to be in a Chinese New Year movie. I like feel-good movies. So, I thought it was a sign that I should do it.”
She also loves the Chinese New Year season. “It’s very vibey and happy. I love everything about Chinese New Year.” Even the small talk doesn’t bother her. “I can fake it till I make it!” To avoid awkward questions from relatives, “I choose to hide in a corner. Then again, it's quite hard to hide myself – I’m very visible at all times!” She chortled.
(Photo: CNA/Dillon Tan)
If that fails and a really personal question comes her way, “I pretend I’m choking on the Chinese New Year goodies, and I’ll ask for water, and everyone will be in panic mode and they will forget about it.” Take notes, friends.
PINEAPPLE TART KISMET
Pineapple tarts, though, have strong emotional associations for her. “My late grandmother made very yummy pineapple tarts. She passed on close to 10 years ago but it feels like yesterday. I like pineapples, but I don’t like the pineapple filling in pineapple tarts. I always separate the filling and eat the tart. My grandmother noticed that, so every year without fail, she would make me a jar of tarts without the pineapple. It was my childhood, and something I looked forward to.
“So, when Jason, our director, told me that the movie was about pineapple tarts, it was kind of like a call; a connection between me and my grandmother.”
Just don’t ask her to bake them herself. “I’m interested, but my family stops me from doing it because they don't want me to burn the kitchen down,” she guffawed.
“I'm not very good in the kitchen. I always forget to season my cooking, or I will burn it somehow. Most of my food isn’t edible. It’s tasteless. That's what my family says. I remember I was making a wrap on a livestream, and I put it in the oven. When I took it out, the whole wrap just fell to the ground. So, if you ask me whether it was yummy, I can’t tell you, because no one got to eat it. Everyone was just like, ‘You need to stop cooking’.”
(Photo: CNA/Dillon Tan)
Although she wouldn’t dream of letting that affect her confidence today, if you want to know what she was like “maybe 20 years ago”, her character in the movie – timid and diffident – will answer that question. "When I got the script, I told the director, ‘Hey, this is teenaged me’,” she said. “I love singing, and I’m pretty good at it, but back then, I was so scared that people would judge me.”
She mused: “People always ask me, ‘What would you tell your younger self?’ I always answer, ‘You have wasted too much time. If you had started earlier, you would have gained so much more.’ I spent so much time contemplating, being paranoid, thinking, ‘If I do this, will people like me? Will people hate me?’ If you can spend so much time and energy thinking about all this, why not channel the energy into doing something that will work for you?”
As Lim’s profile has grown – she does it all: modelling, content creation and even owning a dance studio, in addition to acting and hosting – so has her role as an unofficial voice for plus-sized representation. It's something she embraces, but not without cost.
“A lot of people tell me, ‘Xixi, you are very confident,’” she said. “I keep telling people that confidence is within you. I can’t teach you how to be confident – it has to come from you. You need to be very comfortable in your own skin.”
CONFIDENCE, VISIBILITY AND THE COST OF BEING SEEN
(Photo: CNA/Dillon Tan)
That confidence was hard-won. Lim described years of being told what she should and shouldn’t wear, how she should present herself, and what was “appropriate” for her size. “If everyone is telling you you should do this, you should do that, you will never feel happy about yourself, and you will never find what works for you,” she said. After all these years, I just learned to turn away from all the negativity.
Eventually, she chose a different path: “I’m just going to do things that make myself happy. I want to be me whether or not you like it. It's okay if you really don't like how I dress or how I behave, as long as I'm not rude to you and I’m still being respectful. Maybe we're just not meant for one another. It's okay. Someone else will appreciate what I'm wearing, what I'm doing. Maybe, I can make someone else smile.”
Visibility, of course, brings scrutiny. Even mundane posts – of her eating a meal, perhaps – can attract cruel commentary. “People will say, ‘Why is she constantly eating?’ But, we’re human. We’re supposed to eat to survive.” The exhaustion, she admitted, is real. “It’s a battle between wanting to share and not wanting to share because you don’t want to be a target.”
What keeps her moving forward are the messages she receives from people who are encouraged by her. “They tell me, ‘You are an inspiration. If you can do it, we can do it, too.’” That sense of responsibility has reshaped how she approaches fear. “Whenever I’m afraid or feel that I might not succeed, I tell myself I need to set an example for people who are too afraid to try.”
What makes her feel successful today? “When I’m walking on the street and people call out my name,” she said. “Even if they don’t remember my name, they’ll say, ‘You’re the round, cute one.’ That works for me!”
A Good Fortune is in cinemas from Jan 29.
Continue reading...