“I can’t wait to go on holiday.” If that is your refrain for the most part of the year, there may be more turbulence in your life than a plane flying into bad weather.
“It may suggest that you are living an imbalanced life and your overall outlook on life is possibly rooted in dissatisfaction or stress, lacking meaning and purpose,” said Loo Wee Shyon, a senior clinical psychologist with National University Polyclinics.
But surely, it’s not a crime to want to escape the weariness of everyday life, right? Everyone needs to reset their stress levels every now and then, don’t they?
Yes, it is true that “most of us run on empty all year, juggling work demands, family expectations, and social pressure,” said John Shepherd Lim, the chief wellbeing officer of Singapore Counselling Centre.
“When we finally take a break, we give ourselves permission to pause, turn off the noise, and simply be. This is when our stress hormones settle, our nervous system resets, and we remember who we are outside of our roles,” said Lim.
(Photo: iStock/Farknot Architect)
There are also other benefits. “New environments and novelty can amplify mood boosts,” said Loo. “Engaging in leisure activities, experiencing new things, and connecting socially during a holiday elevate positivity. Time off work offers a chance to reflect, re-evaluate priorities and develop healthier coping mechanisms for future stresses.”
“When you find yourself counting down to the next trip just to ‘survive’ the months in between, that can be referred to as the Dread Cycle,” said Lim. “It means you’ve mentally decided that your normal life is unacceptable and that happiness is something that happens ‘later’, not now. The holiday stops being restorative and instead, becomes a form of emotional avoidance.”
Lim cautioned that this is “a signal that something in your day-to-day life is not aligned with your expectations”. “The bigger and more elaborate the escape, the louder the alarm bell about how much you dislike your normal routine. And when you return, the crash is brutal because all the stress and dissatisfaction you tried to run from comes rushing back.”
You could be facing stress, exhaustion or overload that has not been adequately addressed, said Loo. “This pattern may point to an unhealthy balance where life and work obligations consume much of your mental and emotional energy.”
(Photo: iStock/takasuu)
Mental health-wise, an unhealthy obsession to get away via a holiday can contribute to anxiety, depression and burnout, said Loo. He has seen such individuals with chronic stress symptoms (such as headaches and diarrhoea), cognitive symptoms (irritability and difficulty concentrating) and workplace burnout (persistent fatigue and behavioural symptoms such as procrastination).
You can create daily and weekly rituals for well-being, and dedicate time for enjoyable activities, to help break the cycle, suggested Loo. “Holidays should be seen as bonuses or rewards, not essential substitutes for compensation or stress relief.”
Lim agreed that the solution is to “make your life feel less
For example, if what you crave on holiday are calmness, connection and adventure, you can set aside some time each evening, away from your phone and laptop, to spend time exploring new eateries with your loved ones instead, Lim suggested.
(Photo: iStock/Prostock-Studio)
Secondly, you can strengthen your boundaries. “Start by setting aside dedicated time on the weekend to switch off notifications and avoid checking work emails,” Lim advised. “When you are constantly plugged in, your mind stays in ‘work standby mode’ and that constant state of alertness can be exhausting, even when you’re technically off the clock.”
“It is natural to feel drawn to friends or family sharing glimpses of a relaxed, carefree life overseas,” said Loo. “Their posts can be inspiring and create a strong desire to experience something similar.”
But remember that social media tends to only showcase the best moments. “It’s alright to feel inspired by their experiences but recognise that their social media posts are often a curated snapshot, not the full picture,” advised Loo.
“What works well for one person may not suit another person’s situation, timing or needs. It is essential to view such portrayals critically and with self-awareness.”
And if you’ve been scrolling through travel influencers’ feed and thinking, “why am I stuck here?”, remember that the grass is always greener on the other side. “Social media often shows the highlight reel and not the whole picture,” reminded Lim.
According to Loo Wee Shyon, a senior clinical psychologist with National University Polyclinics, “short breaks offer immediate relief from everyday stress, help reset mood and improve focus”. “Medium duration, such as four to seven days, provide a deeper level of relaxation, enhance sleep and allow for more immersive experiences, helping to sustain mood improvements.”
Longer durations of over a week, he added, enable gradual disconnection from work and cognitive restoration. “Research indicates diminishing returns beyond a certain point for some effects. The essential factor is authentic rest, not just a change in routine.”
Collapse Expand
“When you see people living picturesque lives abroad, it can reinforce the illusion that happiness exists somewhere else. However, it is important to remember that on social media, what we see may be 10 per cent of the person’s life.”
Don’t turn your noses up at staycations. “Even though they can’t offer the perfect substitute for the novelty and cultural immersions of international travel, staycations provide a break from work and daily stressors, allowing your mind and body to rest and recharge,” said Loo.
“Staycations also avoid airport hassles, long flights and jet lag. You can tailor staycations to your individual preferences, providing you with the same intentionality to rest, have fun, and detach from work and daily routines,” said Loo.
(Photo: iStock/CG Tan)
Lim reiterated that “it is not about where you go and for how long, it is about how you feel
He added that “consistent short breaks, such as long weekends when you truly log off, are more effective at preventing burnout than one big annual getaway”. “It’s not about the duration nor destination. The benefit lies in giving yourself permission to rest and reconnect,” he said.
At the end of the day, know that “the restorative power of a holiday doesn’t come from distance, it comes from disconnection”, said Lim. “If you can truly unplug, even for a few days, your body and mind will respond the same way they would on a long trip.”
Continue reading...
“It may suggest that you are living an imbalanced life and your overall outlook on life is possibly rooted in dissatisfaction or stress, lacking meaning and purpose,” said Loo Wee Shyon, a senior clinical psychologist with National University Polyclinics.
But surely, it’s not a crime to want to escape the weariness of everyday life, right? Everyone needs to reset their stress levels every now and then, don’t they?
Yes, it is true that “most of us run on empty all year, juggling work demands, family expectations, and social pressure,” said John Shepherd Lim, the chief wellbeing officer of Singapore Counselling Centre.
“When we finally take a break, we give ourselves permission to pause, turn off the noise, and simply be. This is when our stress hormones settle, our nervous system resets, and we remember who we are outside of our roles,” said Lim.
(Photo: iStock/Farknot Architect)
There are also other benefits. “New environments and novelty can amplify mood boosts,” said Loo. “Engaging in leisure activities, experiencing new things, and connecting socially during a holiday elevate positivity. Time off work offers a chance to reflect, re-evaluate priorities and develop healthier coping mechanisms for future stresses.”
WHEN DOES YEARNING FOR A HOLIDAY BECOME UNHEALTHY?
“When you find yourself counting down to the next trip just to ‘survive’ the months in between, that can be referred to as the Dread Cycle,” said Lim. “It means you’ve mentally decided that your normal life is unacceptable and that happiness is something that happens ‘later’, not now. The holiday stops being restorative and instead, becomes a form of emotional avoidance.”
Lim cautioned that this is “a signal that something in your day-to-day life is not aligned with your expectations”. “The bigger and more elaborate the escape, the louder the alarm bell about how much you dislike your normal routine. And when you return, the crash is brutal because all the stress and dissatisfaction you tried to run from comes rushing back.”
You could be facing stress, exhaustion or overload that has not been adequately addressed, said Loo. “This pattern may point to an unhealthy balance where life and work obligations consume much of your mental and emotional energy.”
(Photo: iStock/takasuu)
Mental health-wise, an unhealthy obsession to get away via a holiday can contribute to anxiety, depression and burnout, said Loo. He has seen such individuals with chronic stress symptoms (such as headaches and diarrhoea), cognitive symptoms (irritability and difficulty concentrating) and workplace burnout (persistent fatigue and behavioural symptoms such as procrastination).
HOW CAN YOU GET OUT OF THE CYCLE?
You can create daily and weekly rituals for well-being, and dedicate time for enjoyable activities, to help break the cycle, suggested Loo. “Holidays should be seen as bonuses or rewards, not essential substitutes for compensation or stress relief.”
Lim agreed that the solution is to “make your life feel less
For example, if what you crave on holiday are calmness, connection and adventure, you can set aside some time each evening, away from your phone and laptop, to spend time exploring new eateries with your loved ones instead, Lim suggested.
(Photo: iStock/Prostock-Studio)
Secondly, you can strengthen your boundaries. “Start by setting aside dedicated time on the weekend to switch off notifications and avoid checking work emails,” Lim advised. “When you are constantly plugged in, your mind stays in ‘work standby mode’ and that constant state of alertness can be exhausting, even when you’re technically off the clock.”
WHAT DO YOU DO IF YOU HAVE TRAVEL ENVY?
“It is natural to feel drawn to friends or family sharing glimpses of a relaxed, carefree life overseas,” said Loo. “Their posts can be inspiring and create a strong desire to experience something similar.”
But remember that social media tends to only showcase the best moments. “It’s alright to feel inspired by their experiences but recognise that their social media posts are often a curated snapshot, not the full picture,” advised Loo.
“What works well for one person may not suit another person’s situation, timing or needs. It is essential to view such portrayals critically and with self-awareness.”
And if you’ve been scrolling through travel influencers’ feed and thinking, “why am I stuck here?”, remember that the grass is always greener on the other side. “Social media often shows the highlight reel and not the whole picture,” reminded Lim.
IS THERE AN OPTIMAL HOLIDAY DURATION?
According to Loo Wee Shyon, a senior clinical psychologist with National University Polyclinics, “short breaks offer immediate relief from everyday stress, help reset mood and improve focus”. “Medium duration, such as four to seven days, provide a deeper level of relaxation, enhance sleep and allow for more immersive experiences, helping to sustain mood improvements.”
Longer durations of over a week, he added, enable gradual disconnection from work and cognitive restoration. “Research indicates diminishing returns beyond a certain point for some effects. The essential factor is authentic rest, not just a change in routine.”
Collapse Expand
“When you see people living picturesque lives abroad, it can reinforce the illusion that happiness exists somewhere else. However, it is important to remember that on social media, what we see may be 10 per cent of the person’s life.”
WHAT CAN YOU DO IF YOU CAN’T TRAVEL?
Don’t turn your noses up at staycations. “Even though they can’t offer the perfect substitute for the novelty and cultural immersions of international travel, staycations provide a break from work and daily stressors, allowing your mind and body to rest and recharge,” said Loo.
“Staycations also avoid airport hassles, long flights and jet lag. You can tailor staycations to your individual preferences, providing you with the same intentionality to rest, have fun, and detach from work and daily routines,” said Loo.
(Photo: iStock/CG Tan)
Lim reiterated that “it is not about where you go and for how long, it is about how you feel
He added that “consistent short breaks, such as long weekends when you truly log off, are more effective at preventing burnout than one big annual getaway”. “It’s not about the duration nor destination. The benefit lies in giving yourself permission to rest and reconnect,” he said.
At the end of the day, know that “the restorative power of a holiday doesn’t come from distance, it comes from disconnection”, said Lim. “If you can truly unplug, even for a few days, your body and mind will respond the same way they would on a long trip.”
Continue reading...