THE NOT-FOR-MEN SYNDROME
Third, boys of my generation grew up climbing trees, flying kites, kicking balls and competing in outdoor sports.
As we grew older, some of us took to fixing bicycles, tinkering with motorcycles or even car engines. Our interactions were almost always purpose-driven, where we played to win, built things and solved problems.
These "shoulder-to-shoulder" activities bonded us through shared tasks and strenuous exertion. Sitting around for polite, “face-to-face” parlour conversations and discussions without a purpose did not interest us.
So, it is not hard to see why many men find it hard to embrace the idea of a “senior centre” or "activities for seniors". Those phrases alone conjure images of decline, frailty and dependency, which is at odds with the macho-man ideals of strength and independence.
There is also a perception that centre activities cater more to female interests, for example, crafts, quilting, bingo, book clubs and dance classes.
While there are exercise classes, they often lack the rigour of competition or physical challenge that appeal to many men. Passive lectures or purely social events have no appeal.
Mr Wong’s observation that kickboxing, cardio drumming and carpentry workshops should be on the programme is spot-on. Attracting older men requires intentionality, creativity, and a willingness to challenge traditional senior centre models.
It's not about excluding women, but about broadening the programme sheet to include activities that resonate with men’s interests and socialisation styles.
Studies have shown that older men are generally more vulnerable to severe loneliness and social isolation than older women, particularly after major life transitions like retirement or widowhood. This pattern holds across diverse cultures, though cultural norms shape how loneliness manifests.
Male loneliness and social isolation are often described as a quiet crisis with loud consequences. Of the 314 reported suicide deaths in Singapore last year, 64.3 per cent were men.
Mr Wong’s call to plan for more male-oriented activities in our Age Well Neighbourhoods couldn’t be more timely. There is an urgent need to redesign our activity centres to attract senior men, including those who believe they don’t need anyone.
And maybe, just maybe, they’ll discover they do.
Dr William Wan is a practising lawyer and former General-Secretary of Singapore Kindness Movement.
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