The Ministry of Education’s recent disciplinary guidelines, including caning for serious and repeat offences like vaping and bullying, have struck a nerve with me.
Full disclosure: I’m Gen X. I grew up with the cane – at home and in school. It was feared and sometimes, deserved. The cane’s effect was swift and painful. You did not forget it, and you also didn’t repeat the mistake – at least not in the same way.
It took me years to discern the difference and now, as a parent, it’s clear to me: Stopping behaviour is not the same as changing it.
To me, the cane taught compliance. It stopped the “bad” behaviour immediately. It taught me that authority had the final word. On the flipside, it also taught me how not to get caught.
My friend, Elena Ng, 46, shared how boys in her school who were disciplined by the cane got more creative instead – like smoking in secret spots or picking fights off campus.
“Sure, the caning stopped them that week,” she said. “But they just got sneakier.”
And that is the problem. Caning gets you immediate obedience, but it doesn’t produce accountability for the action.
It also skips this deeper understanding that we want from discipline: awareness of harm, ownership of actions, repairing skills and empathy.
And that gap matters more now than before. Because today, bullying has changed. It is not limited to fights or name-calling. It can be social exclusion, harassment, online doxxing and like the 2024 case at Singapore Sports School, the sharing of humiliating fake pictures.
Bullying isn’t just physical anymore – it can include creating deepfake nudes that may live forever online. (Photo: iStock/pocketlight)
Male students had generated and circulated deepfake nude images of their female schoolmates – harm that was digital, humiliating and potentially permanent.
The boys involved had their mobile phones confiscated and turned over to the police. They faced suspension, removal from boarding, bans from sports trips that affected their performance, and even caning.
It drives a hard question: Is physical punishment enough to create change?
This part keeps bothering me. In Singapore, caning applies only to boys in schools. In our criminal courts, it’s a punitive measure only for men. Women are exempt – a legacy of our inherited colonial-era laws, shaped by traditional views of gender and physical punishment.
But if the offence is serious enough to warrant caning, why does gender determine who receives it?
My 17-year-old daughter put it plainly: “Girls can vape too. Girls can also be bullies, so shouldn’t they also be caned? But caning a bully doesn’t do anything.”
She’s right to question it. And as a mother, I have questions too.
We are raising our girls to be equal to boys – in education, opportunity, relationships and ambition. I tell my two daughters that they can be just as good as the boys and achieve everything they can.
But if we tell our girls that they are equal to boys, then that must include accountability. Otherwise, we send two different messages.
To girls: You are equal to boys and held to the same standards, but don’t suffer the same consequences.
To boys: You are accountable and your mistakes will be dealt with physical punishment.
Of course, this is a simplified way of explaining corporal punishment to children and it overlooks the traditional gender roles girls are expected to shoulder as they grow up. But these messages signal how our children understand fairness, responsibility and consequences.
If we are raising girls to be equal to boys in school, life and work, that must also include accountability, says the writer. (Photo: iStock/anon-tae)
Parents shared mixed reactions to the stricter framework for student misconduct.
For some, there is no change. “It’s not new,” two mothers of teenage boys told me. “Boys have always gotten the shorter end of the stick.”
Marilyn Wee, 49, a mother of a 17-year-old boy and an 11-year-old girl, believes caning should be extended to girls. “For repeat offenders, a stroke on their hands ensures fairness between both genders.”
She also welcomes MOE’s broader framework, which includes developmental and psychological support. “Having a reporting system offers victims and bystanders a way to call out the situation. Including counselling alongside punishment is also an effective way forward.”
This balance matters. Parents want consequences but they also want their children to think, reflect, take responsibility and learn. Not just fear the punishment.
Dr Adaline Ng, principal clinical psychologist at Better Life Psychological Medicine Clinic, said: “Research is overwhelming when it comes to corporal punishment being ineffective to change behaviours.”
Negative long-term effects include increased aggression, anxiety, and difficulties with emotional regulation. It can reinforce the very behaviours it is trying to correct.
Overwhelming research shows that corporal punishment is not effective in changing behaviour and may have negative long-term effects. (Photo: iStock/Sophonnawit Inkaew)
Sue Tay, a mother of three – a 15-year-old boy, a 13-year-old girl and an eight-year-old boy – is no stranger to the cane. “I grew up with it and never thought of it negatively – it was how my parents disciplined us. But now, if I hear the whip of the cane in the air, it triggers my trauma. I don’t use it on my own children.”
The 48-year-old added: “We must understand that the cane is ultimately a fear-based discipline tactic and a quick-fix for compliance, but it is not a change mechanism.”
I agree. Not everyone who was caned grows up damaged but it doesn’t make the method adequate. Caning is a response. It comes after the act. After the bullying, vaping or violence.
These behaviours rarely exist in isolation. They are shaped by digital exposure, peer pressure, emotional immaturity, and poor understanding of consent and consequences.
If we focus only on punishment, we are treating the symptom, not the cause. Caning corrects behaviour without building internal skills like reflection, empathy, and self-control. These skills are not optional today.
Dr Ng added: “The new discipline guidelines are for putting out the fire. More resources need to be devoted to stopping these fires from even starting.”
Serious offences require grave consequences but they need to be firm, non-physical, and be applied consistently across genders.
Serious offences like bullying have grave consequences but these don’t have to be physical and can still be applied to boys and girls. (Photo: iStock/asiandelight)
Elena Ng said: “Consequences should match the severity but it must also teach. Our children need counsel and therapy. They need to reflect on their behaviour through action. Make someone’s life better, not take their angst out on others.”
The parents I spoke with also suggested more holistic, non-gendered options, such as:
Importantly, these are consequences that can be applied equally to boys and girls. Because if it can’t be applied fairly, I wonder if it is the right tool at all.
At its core, MOE’s move is about drawing a line. A clear signal that bullying, in all its modern forms, will be taken seriously.
But this line is not enough if we want our children to become thoughtful adults. We must rethink what discipline looks like in a world that has changed and will continue to evolve – and how it impacts both boys and girls.
Does caning still have a place? It may, but I’m not sure. Because ultimately, the goal is not only to stop the bad behaviour. It’s raising children who grasp why it’s wrong and choose to do better.
CNA Women is a section on CNA Lifestyle that seeks to inform, empower and inspire the modern woman. If you have women-related news, issues and ideas to share with us, email CNAWomen [at] mediacorp.com.sg.
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Full disclosure: I’m Gen X. I grew up with the cane – at home and in school. It was feared and sometimes, deserved. The cane’s effect was swift and painful. You did not forget it, and you also didn’t repeat the mistake – at least not in the same way.
It took me years to discern the difference and now, as a parent, it’s clear to me: Stopping behaviour is not the same as changing it.
To me, the cane taught compliance. It stopped the “bad” behaviour immediately. It taught me that authority had the final word. On the flipside, it also taught me how not to get caught.
My friend, Elena Ng, 46, shared how boys in her school who were disciplined by the cane got more creative instead – like smoking in secret spots or picking fights off campus.
“Sure, the caning stopped them that week,” she said. “But they just got sneakier.”
And that is the problem. Caning gets you immediate obedience, but it doesn’t produce accountability for the action.
It also skips this deeper understanding that we want from discipline: awareness of harm, ownership of actions, repairing skills and empathy.
And that gap matters more now than before. Because today, bullying has changed. It is not limited to fights or name-calling. It can be social exclusion, harassment, online doxxing and like the 2024 case at Singapore Sports School, the sharing of humiliating fake pictures.
Bullying isn’t just physical anymore – it can include creating deepfake nudes that may live forever online. (Photo: iStock/pocketlight)
Male students had generated and circulated deepfake nude images of their female schoolmates – harm that was digital, humiliating and potentially permanent.
The boys involved had their mobile phones confiscated and turned over to the police. They faced suspension, removal from boarding, bans from sports trips that affected their performance, and even caning.
It drives a hard question: Is physical punishment enough to create change?
MY REAL QUESTION IS: WHY ONLY CANE THE BOYS?
This part keeps bothering me. In Singapore, caning applies only to boys in schools. In our criminal courts, it’s a punitive measure only for men. Women are exempt – a legacy of our inherited colonial-era laws, shaped by traditional views of gender and physical punishment.
But if the offence is serious enough to warrant caning, why does gender determine who receives it?
My 17-year-old daughter put it plainly: “Girls can vape too. Girls can also be bullies, so shouldn’t they also be caned? But caning a bully doesn’t do anything.”
She’s right to question it. And as a mother, I have questions too.
WHAT CANING SIGNALS TO GIRLS AND BOYS
We are raising our girls to be equal to boys – in education, opportunity, relationships and ambition. I tell my two daughters that they can be just as good as the boys and achieve everything they can.
But if we tell our girls that they are equal to boys, then that must include accountability. Otherwise, we send two different messages.
To girls: You are equal to boys and held to the same standards, but don’t suffer the same consequences.
To boys: You are accountable and your mistakes will be dealt with physical punishment.
Of course, this is a simplified way of explaining corporal punishment to children and it overlooks the traditional gender roles girls are expected to shoulder as they grow up. But these messages signal how our children understand fairness, responsibility and consequences.
If we are raising girls to be equal to boys in school, life and work, that must also include accountability, says the writer. (Photo: iStock/anon-tae)
Parents shared mixed reactions to the stricter framework for student misconduct.
For some, there is no change. “It’s not new,” two mothers of teenage boys told me. “Boys have always gotten the shorter end of the stick.”
Marilyn Wee, 49, a mother of a 17-year-old boy and an 11-year-old girl, believes caning should be extended to girls. “For repeat offenders, a stroke on their hands ensures fairness between both genders.”
She also welcomes MOE’s broader framework, which includes developmental and psychological support. “Having a reporting system offers victims and bystanders a way to call out the situation. Including counselling alongside punishment is also an effective way forward.”
This balance matters. Parents want consequences but they also want their children to think, reflect, take responsibility and learn. Not just fear the punishment.
WITH CANING, WE’RE JUST MANAGING THE SYMPTOM
Dr Adaline Ng, principal clinical psychologist at Better Life Psychological Medicine Clinic, said: “Research is overwhelming when it comes to corporal punishment being ineffective to change behaviours.”
Negative long-term effects include increased aggression, anxiety, and difficulties with emotional regulation. It can reinforce the very behaviours it is trying to correct.
Overwhelming research shows that corporal punishment is not effective in changing behaviour and may have negative long-term effects. (Photo: iStock/Sophonnawit Inkaew)
Sue Tay, a mother of three – a 15-year-old boy, a 13-year-old girl and an eight-year-old boy – is no stranger to the cane. “I grew up with it and never thought of it negatively – it was how my parents disciplined us. But now, if I hear the whip of the cane in the air, it triggers my trauma. I don’t use it on my own children.”
The 48-year-old added: “We must understand that the cane is ultimately a fear-based discipline tactic and a quick-fix for compliance, but it is not a change mechanism.”
I agree. Not everyone who was caned grows up damaged but it doesn’t make the method adequate. Caning is a response. It comes after the act. After the bullying, vaping or violence.
These behaviours rarely exist in isolation. They are shaped by digital exposure, peer pressure, emotional immaturity, and poor understanding of consent and consequences.
If we focus only on punishment, we are treating the symptom, not the cause. Caning corrects behaviour without building internal skills like reflection, empathy, and self-control. These skills are not optional today.
Dr Ng added: “The new discipline guidelines are for putting out the fire. More resources need to be devoted to stopping these fires from even starting.”
WHAT COULD WORK BETTER – AND EQUITABLY
Serious offences require grave consequences but they need to be firm, non-physical, and be applied consistently across genders.
Serious offences like bullying have grave consequences but these don’t have to be physical and can still be applied to boys and girls. (Photo: iStock/asiandelight)
Elena Ng said: “Consequences should match the severity but it must also teach. Our children need counsel and therapy. They need to reflect on their behaviour through action. Make someone’s life better, not take their angst out on others.”
The parents I spoke with also suggested more holistic, non-gendered options, such as:
- Restorative discipline where students confront and repair the harm they caused, for example, write apology letters or perform community service.
- Loss of privileges with clear pathways to regain them if students demonstrate change. After-school detention or free periods replaced with supervised study are better than suspension from school. And, isn’t suspension like days off from school to misbehave elsewhere?
- Psychological support and behavioural programmes for repeat or severe cases. Psychologists can assess the help these children need – in school and at home.
- Schools to focus on values education, updated for modern-day ethics, on consent and digital/social media responsibility.
Importantly, these are consequences that can be applied equally to boys and girls. Because if it can’t be applied fairly, I wonder if it is the right tool at all.
At its core, MOE’s move is about drawing a line. A clear signal that bullying, in all its modern forms, will be taken seriously.
But this line is not enough if we want our children to become thoughtful adults. We must rethink what discipline looks like in a world that has changed and will continue to evolve – and how it impacts both boys and girls.
Does caning still have a place? It may, but I’m not sure. Because ultimately, the goal is not only to stop the bad behaviour. It’s raising children who grasp why it’s wrong and choose to do better.
CNA Women is a section on CNA Lifestyle that seeks to inform, empower and inspire the modern woman. If you have women-related news, issues and ideas to share with us, email CNAWomen [at] mediacorp.com.sg.
Continue reading...